“Why did you come back to Lance? It seems to me you spent a lot of time imagining you were away from here,”
Mystique averted her gaze.
“I became a different person when I was in the city. I was not myself.” She glanced at him, and then back at the trees. “I was not a good person.”
Reine cocked his head. “I find that hard to believe. First, you defended me, a stranger, against a person you knew well, and then you invited me up here because you thought I could use a day out. And you approached me, even though you were scared. Do you expect me to believe you were a bad person?”
She smiled, though the gesture didn’t reach her eyes. “I became tired of Lance, of the problems I had here. I became an angry person.”
“What problems did you have? The fire?”
“Yes, the fires.”
Reine chewed on the inside of his cheek. Fires. In plural. He wanted to demand more answers, but instead he knew he had to wait. Mystique was sharing with him something personal and he couldn’t force it out of her. What was more, he had the suspicion those fires were linked to Sin activity. When they’d walked through Oak Road he had seen them. The place was crawling with Inferums hiding in the shadows, waiting their turn to take over a human soul. How long had they been there?
“My mother was a pyromaniac and had psychological problems. For many years, she did things I am not proud of. I would come up here to escape her. When I was seventeen, I started dating Reed. He was a bit older than me, but a seemingly nice guy. He suggested we move to the city, away from everything here.”
“And you agreed.”
“It was the escape I was looking for.” Mystique lay back on the grass. She placed her hands over her belly and shut her eyes. Reine fought the urge to gather her into his arms and soothe her. He shook his head. What was it about this woman that was making him lose his head?
“At first, when we arrived to the city, everything was great.” Mystique continued. “We rented a tiny one-bedroom apartment, and we were both lucky, because we found work really quickly. We’d work long nights and get home to cuddle and just be together.” She sighed again. “We just enjoyed each other’s presence, the fact that the other person existed. Then, one day, he didn’t come home. I was frantic. I went to his workplace, and they told me he’d left hours ago with another girl. Shocked, I returned home. I waited and waited and he didn’t show. When it was time for me to go into work, I didn’t. I called in sick and waited. As I suspected, he eventually turned up. With her.”
“Bastard.”
Mystique laughed. “Yes, he was. He was surprised to see me there and not because I hadn’t gone to work, but because he’d left me a note saying it was over and I had to leave.” She laughed again, the sound derisive more than merry. “I hadn’t seen the note because I knocked it over when I had gotten dressed that morning and it had slid under the bed. Still, can you believe it, Reine? A note? He didn’t have the guts to say it to my face.”
Reine grasped her hand. Her eyes opened and her gaze made his heart hammer.
“It’s okay,” she said softly. “It’s okay now.” She squeezed his hand and closed her eyes again.
“What did you do after? Did you come back to Lance?”
“No. I couldn’t go back. It would have been going back to the same problem. While waitressing, I had made a friend, or so I thought at the time. I called him and asked for help. At first, he was really nice. He told me to go to his place and make myself comfortable. That he’d help me out. He was great for the first week, but then, when I found myself a place to live, he decided he wanted some sort of payment.”
“Mystique, you don’t need to tell me this.” Reine squeezed her hand. Bile was rising to his throat. That bastard had taken advantage of her.
She turned to her side and looked at him. “I want to tell you my story. I’m not sure why, but I want you to listen to it. You’re conflicted, Reine. I see it in your eyes, in the way you’re angry one moment and moderately happy the next. You kind of remind me of me back then and perhaps that’s why I feel like I have to tell you my story. You must endure. You must know there is a way out from hell.”
Reine stared at her. Her words reminded him of another woman, Scarlett. She had said the same thing to him that day at the office.Endure, Reine. It’s not the end of the world.
“Please, continue.” He squeezed her hand. He hadn’t taken Scarlett seriously, but now, sitting here with Mystique, far away from the world, he wanted to listen to her tale and find out if it was really possible to escape from hell.
“I offered him money, but he wouldn’t take it. I didn’t know what else to do, so in the end, well, you can imagine what happened.”
“You had sex.”
“Yes.” She smiled, sadly. “It wasn’t that bad. I had only been with my boyfriend, and I tried to look at it as another sexual experience and nothing more. I moved to my place and didn’t speak to him. However, the anger I felt inside at being betrayed and used didn’t go away.”
“What did you do?”
“For some time, I was bitter. I snapped at anyone and everyone. My mood swings were constant. Then Andrew, my boss, started to flirt with me. I lost it. All men wanted was sex and I would give it to them, but under my terms. I took control of my anger. I hid it well, beneath layers of makeup, sexy clothes, and seductive smiles. I dictated the rules. I would pick up men, fuck them, and then guilt trip them. Sometimes, I would take their money. Other times, I would shame them. From time to time, I bullied or threatened them. I became ruthless. All men were bastards. All men deserved to be hurt, like I had been. I went on a wild hunt that involved sex and pain, and even drugs. I lost sight of myself. I lost sight of the girl who sat atop a hill and dreamed of fairies, laughter, and happiness. Then, a month before I turned twenty-two, I received a call.”
Reine swallowed. Wrath had taken hold of her. Her maniacal desire to harm others, even when perhaps they did not deserve it, was the first sign. Bullying, threats, selfishness, lack of trust and sexual abuse were like a neon sign.
The fear that she was still infected by the Sin crossed his mind. It couldn’t be. He’d gazed into her eyes before and seen nothing.
“Who was the call from?”
“My neighbor. 'There’s been another fire. You need to come back. She’s in the hospital.'” Mystique sighed. “My mother had set fire to the house and it had caught everything in its wake, including her. When I arrived, she barely hung on by a thread. I still don’t know how she managed to last for as long as she did. She lived another two weeks. During that time, I stayed at the hospital. I prayed for her recovery, but I also prayed for myself. I realized I couldn’t continue down the destructive path I had set for myself. I looked at my mother and thought that I didn’t want to be her. I didn’t want to be lying on a hospital bed, alone.”
“What did you do?”
“I faced myself. I faced my fears. The night my mother died, I climbed up here and I screamed.” She chuckled. “Thank goodness the house is empty or I’m sure they would have called the police because I screamed and I cried and I swore. I thought long and hard about what I had done and what others had done to me. I took responsibility for my actions, for my person. When I woke up the next morning, dirty, wet, and sad, I went to the hotel room and I showered. I looked at myself in the mirror and I cried and screamed at myself some more. Then suddenly, I was done. I’d had enough. I was drained, exhausted. I had faced the demon in me and I had resolved to win.”
