“I was worried you’d hate yourself when you calmed down enough to realize you killed an innocent human,” I wailed. “I never meant to suggest I didn’t trust you. I trust you with my life!”
“I know. I know you do.” He brushed his knuckles down my cheek. “After I calmed down, after the taint settled and I couldthinkagain, I understood. Don’t worry about that anymore.”
I squeezed him in a tight hug and knew I had to confess what I’d done.
“I did something I’m scared you’ll hate me for,” I whispered into his chest.
“There’s nothing you could do that would make me hate you.”
“Don’t be so sure. I—” Taking a deep breath, I steeled myself for him to push me away. “I made a deal with Samuel Castle at City of the Future.”
He remained silent, and the words tumbled out of me.
“I didn’t know who he was! I mean, I knewwhohe was, but I didn’t know who he was in relation toyou. Mira told me as she carried me out of that church. She said he’d killed your mother and—”
“What deal did you make?” he interrupted. “Jax told me Castle dragged you away, but you came back alone and unharmed. I can guess his part was to help you escape. What did you give him in return?”
“I promised to take Anne Tamang with us, to heal her and make sure she got to safety.”
“That’s nothing to stress about. You woulda saved an innocent girl anyway, right?” He cupped my chin in one hand and lifted it until our eyes met. “And I did something you might not like, either.”
“Tell me. I’m in a pretty forgiving mood now that I can see your handsome face again.” I scrubbed my hands over his patchy beard. “These whiskers have to go, though. Too rough!”
“They’ll soften up as they grow longer.”
“No.” I shook my head. “Shave them off. I love every part of your face and want to see it.”
“So bossy!” He rolled his eyes, but the unscarred side of his mouth lifted.
And I suddenly needed a fan. And a bucket of ice water. Maybe a snow drift, too. That half-smile always did make me melt into a puddle.
“What were you going to tell me?” I cleared my throat to ask. “You said you did something.”
“The others come up with distractions to keep me from doing something stupid or reckless. Mira asked me to design a tattoo for her, so I did. One thing led to another and—”
“Did you get a new tattoo?” My heartbeat sped up.
“Yeah. On my back.”
“Let me see it!” I tugged at his shirt.
“Not until we’re together again in real life. Are you mad?”
“No. Why would I be?”
“I took time to get it! Time I shoulda spent looking for you! It was daylight, though, and a lotta my contacts don’t do daylight. We were waiting because Spin needed money, and Jax and Gigi went to send him some and—”
“Not even you can maintain a high alert state twenty-four seven without needing a break. Are you eating? Are yousleeping? I’m worried you’re not taking care of yourself, and that is not okay.”
“I fell asleep while I was getting tattooed.” His eyes glittered with torment. “Tell me I ain’t letting you down, Short and Sweet.”
“You aren’t letting me down, so stop feeling guilty. And give yourself permission to sleep and eat.” I brushed my fingertips over his scarred cheek. “It hurts my heart that you’re suffering, Goofy.”
He rolled onto his back and took me with him. Taking advantage of this delicious new position, I ran my hands up his arms, caressed his biceps and his shoulders, and slipped my fingers behind his neck. As a groan vibrated through his chest, heat built in my belly.
“I can’t breathe without you, Gemma.” His hands left my hips and skimmed up my back, making me shiver. “I can’t keep it together, either. If it wasn’t for Chance’s calm and apathy, I woulda killed Jaxtwice, not to mention an old neph, a peri, a tattoo artist—”
“But you haven’t, right?”
