After we first found her, I’d had the idea of getting Kerry to talk with her. Chance had healed her physical injuries, but I hoped Kerry could maybe get her to open up a little about the abuse she’d been through. Then we lost Gemma and that plan became impossible. His head was in a war zone, and I wasn’t subjecting my girl to that.
You’re all she has right now,I told myself.And shechoseyou. There were five other people she could have latched onto, and she chose you.
“Listen.” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I don’t usually lose my temper like that. I’m mostly frustrated because we’re out of cash and we have to relyon Rome to get us some. I’m not comfortable being dependent on somebody like this.”
I didn’t add that I was cranky because she hadn’t been sleeping well, which meantIhadn’t been sleeping well. How could I blame her for having nightmares?
“And I didn’t realize that you might be feeling a similar discomfort by being dependent onme. That’s probably a burden for you. Being stuck with me, I mean. I am aware that I can be a jerk sometimes. And I’m sorry I started to hassle you about not talking.”
My temper sparked again, but for a different reason. If I ever found the one who’d destroyed her voice…
“I’ve heard you talk in your sleep, so you shouldn’t be self-conscious about it with me, but I understand why you’d rather be silent around other people. I talk enough for both of us, anyway.”
I smiled, but she still didn’t look at me, and I gave up on humor.
“Look, if you want to go back to the Sanctuary, I’ll drop you off at the outpost here. They can shuttle you home.”
She dropped out of the yoga pose to lay flat on the floor with her head buried in her arms. Her shoulders started to shake.
“No, no, no!” I groaned. “I don’twantyou to go. I like having you with me, but I’m a guide, not any kind of healer, and I’m tied up helping Kerry for I don’t know how long. It’s not an ideal situation to recover from what you’ve endured.”
She moved her head enough to peek at me through her hair. I wasn’t surprised to see tears skating down her cheeks.
“I want you to stay ifyouwant to stay,” I whispered, “and I’m sorry I was mean.”
She blinked and propped herself up on one elbow, and her ink-black eyes finally met mine. Moving slowly so I didn’tstartle her, I reached over and used my sleeve to wipe her face. She waited until I lowered my hand, then used her index finger to trace on the floor.
She’d done this before—drawn letters on a nearby surface for me to read what she was writing. Good thing I was spatially oriented or it wouldn’t have worked.
“Wait. Start over.” I moved to lie down next to her. “I should have bought you a notepad and a pencil.”
She wanted to know what Kerry was going to do once he caught the bad guys. She’d spelled Kerry as Cary. I put my hand over hers and moved her finger in the right way to spell it.
“Teams are supposed to take any prisoners to the Sanctuary for interrogation by the Council,” I hedged.
I didn’t want to lie to her, but I wasn’t sure the truth would be a good idea, either.
She asked what I thoughtKerrywould do and underlined his name so hard, her fingernail turned white.
“I don’t know.” I sat up. “Well, we should find that Western Union. Rome’ll be calling any time now.”
She wasn’t having any of it. She pounded her fist on the floor and glared at me.
“I can’t see him letting them live,” I admitted. “Especially if they’ve hurt Gemma. I mean, I hope they haven’t, but if they have, he’ll—”
I slammed my mouth closed.
Not what she needs to hear right now.
But she only nodded and laid her head on her arm. Her hair was starting to look like a haystack again, so I slid my backpack off my shoulder and rooted around until I found a comb. When I held it up, she nodded again and closed her eyes.
I combed her hair at least once every day, and the process seemed to calm her. Her hair was thick, and I had to be extra-careful so I didn’t pull it or make the tangles worse. I didn’tknow how to do anything fancy, but it looked shiny and smooth when I was done, and I figured that was good enough.
“There. You’re beautiful again, sugar.” I looked down and saw she’d fallen asleep.
With a sigh, I put the comb back in my pack.
She slows me down and is anything but efficient. A burden, like I said, although I’ll never make the mistake of telling her that again.
