“Yeah. I’m thinking the same. But it might take me some time to get to that point.”
“Luckily, you have a mate to stand beside you, and be there to catch you if you need him to, or even just maybe nudge you this way or that. I’m pretty sure if you come out of this as independent as you were, it’ll be okay with him. And if you come out of it just a little softer, that will be okay, too. All he wants is you, in whatever capacity you’re willing to give yourself to him.”
“How can you be sure about that?” Emmalyn asked, her voice a little shaky. “What if he finds out I’m not that strong, or that I’m too strong? What if I’m not what he always thought I was?”
“It’s all he’s ever wanted. He loves you. He doesn’t want to stop you from being you. He just wants to help you celebrate being you.”
Emmalyn nodded, then said through teary eyes. “I want him, too. I’m just, not even sure about anything anymore, excepthim. I don’t know if I’ll even be able to go back to work after all this. It’s like I have to meet someone new and learn her approach to everything.”
“You may feel that way for a while. And that’s okay. But it tells you something that he’s the only thing you’re sure about, doesn’t it?”
“Yes, I suppose it does. Do you think it makes me weak?”
“Not at all. I think it makes you smart. You’re growing, evolving, getting stronger after a frightening experience, and that is something to be proud of.”
“Even if I’m not sure I can go into your house again?”
“I’m not sure I can go into my house again. Havoc’s cleaning it right now. I’m not exactly sure what I’m going to do with it, but we’ll see.”
“I don’t want to be weak. I hate weak.”
“Oh, Lord, Em. I don’t think you could ever be mistaken for weak. You’re one of the strongest of our generation. There’s no shame in realizing you’re not immortal and having a little lighter touch with things. In some ways it makes you stronger, because you don’t need to prove how strong you are. You’re content just to be you, with whatever strength or tenderness that may bring.”
Emmalyn smiled. “I like that.”
“Me, too.”
“Here’s breakfast,” Barron said, walking through the door with a bed tray in his hands. On it were two bowls of grits, two saucers with bacon on them, two saucers with toast and two cups of coffee. He handed the tray to Hellen. “That’s for y’all. I’m going to jump in the shower before Bam and Everly get here which I have no doubt they’ll be doing momentarily. You mind staying til I get out?”
“Not at all. Take your time, Barron.”
“Appreciate it, Hellen.” He looked at Emmalyn and realized she was still lying down, though she had turned over on her own. “Can I help you sit up, Em?”
“Please.”
Barron very carefully helped Emmalyn sit up, and arranged the pillows behind her so she could comfortably lean against them. “There you go. Anything else?”
“The food,” she said, her eyebrows raised.
Barron laughed, thrilled to see her spirit still there. He took the tray from Hellen and placed it across Emmalyn’s lap. “Everything you asked for, and I even put extra butter on the toast.”
Emmalyn smiled as she reached shakily for a slice of toast. Her body was still trying to purge the drugs in her system and she hadn’t been eating properly because she’d slept so much.
“I’ll be right out,” Barron said.
“Take your time, we’ll be fine,” Hellen said.
Emmalyn watched Barron walk toward the bedroom door, then impulsively called his name. “Barron!”
He stopped and took a few steps back toward her. “Yeah,” he asked.
“I love you.”
Barron’s smile would have lit the world at that particular moment. He came back over and kissed her lips softly. “I love you, too.”
“Go get clean, you’re kind of stinky,” Emmalyn said.
Barron laughed, kissed her again before walking away, and was still laughing when they heard him close the bathroom door just down from the bedroom.
