I felt Noah shrug beside me. “Like my mom said, the land’s valuable. People have been selling up, I guess.”
We kept walking in silence. There were a thousand things I could say to him, and wanted to say, but I knew Noah had something on his mind, something he wanted to say. He was unnervingly quiet and I could see the tension in his shoulders. His breathing was a little too measured: slow and even, in for three, out for three, in for three…
Besides. This whole stupid fight was his fault. I wasn’t going to give him the satisfaction of forgiving him before he apologized.
Eventually, Noah came to a stop, stepping in front of me and turning to face me. “I’m sorry. I know it looked like I was being a dick earlier, and…and I know I probably was,” he added in a huff, “but I really didn’t mean to ruin race day for you. I’m sorry.”
“I’m not mad you ruined race day,” I told him.
“Yeah, I know.” His mouth twitched humorlessly. “I’m sorry about that, too, though. It wasn’tjustmy fault, you know. He was getting pretty rough on the track, too. Which…yeah,” he added, seeing me raise my eyebrows, “isn’t an excuse. I’m just saying, it’s not all my fault. But you were right. I should’ve been the bigger person and…and…and just shaken his hand.”
“And you think maybe you should’ve not made a bitchy comment about me always going running to Levi?”
Noah took my other hand in his, looking down at our hands and nodding. “Yeah.”
“I know you thought I broke up with you to be with Levi last fall, but that’s not what this is about. It’s not like he’s my backup plan for you. He’s myfriend.And that’s all there is.”
“For you.”
“Oh, Jesus, Noah.” I started to draw back, but Noah held me fast, one of his hands letting go of mine to cup my face instead. I pushed it away. “Okay, fine. Look. Just…for argument’s sake, okay, let’s justsaythat you were right, and Levi does have a crush on me still.Just say.I don’t feel that way about him. And Leviknowsthat. He knows I’m in love with you. And he’s not the kind of guy who’s going to make a move on me as long as we’re together. I’m not saying you have to like him, but…I’m not going to stop being friends with him.”
“I’m not asking you to do that.”
“You say you trust me, Noah. We had whole fights about trusting each other last year and Ican’tdo that again. So right now, I…I need you to trust Levi.”
He scowled. “I hardly know the guy, Elle.”
“Then be civil to him,” I tried. I reminded myself that if I were in his shoes, I’d probably be finding it hard to trust a relative stranger, too. It was easy for me to say he could trust Levi, but another thing for Noah to know that for himself.
“I’ll try,” he promised me. “And I’m sorry.”
“Yeah, you’d better be. You big lug.” I pushed gently at his chest and he caught my hand, using it to pull me into his arms. His lips ghosted over my temple, down my cheek, along my jaw, and down to the crook of my neck. He pressed a kiss there and held me tight to him. I wrapped my arms around him in return, fingers reaching up to play with the hair at the nape of his neck. Noah sighed into me.
I loved him so much it hurt sometimes. I’d found it really tough, being away from him this last year. Living together so far this summer hadn’t exactly been a picnic twenty-four seven, but it wasn’t as hard as being apart. I knew how wonderful it would be to be at Harvard with him next year.
But sometimes, like today, being in a relationship was tough.
It all felt worth it, though, to be in his arms like this.
“I love you,” I murmured into his shoulder. “But you make it real hard sometimes, Noah.”
“Don’t ever let me forget it, huh?”
“Cross my heart. Where did you end up all day anyway?”
“You know that place I took you on your birthday last year? The hill, where we went to see the fireworks? I just needed some space.”
Ah. That made sense. I should’ve thought of it earlier.
“I’m glad you came home,” I told him.
He pressed another kiss to my neck and I held him tighter. The waves broke quietly around our feet and the rest of the world was silent but for our breathing. Maybe we weren’t perfect, but for now, it was all I needed.
Chapter Twenty-Three
I worked the breakfast shift the next day, and the lunch one. I’d have done the dinner shift, too, but I had to pick Brad up from camp. It was an exhausting day: I’d dropped an entire ice-cream sundae, some woman screamed at me for getting her Diet Coke instead of regular, even though I wassureshe’d ordered diet. And right now, I was a mere twenty-five minutes away from finishing my shift when a crowd of rowdy college-aged guys poured into the diner. Most of them had damp hair and sand stuck to them. I spotted a truck outside with a couple of surfboards in the bed.
“You want me to take them?” Melvin asked, seeing me roll my eyes. I had to hand it to him—he had alotof guts to even offer. With his round glasses and head of springy curls and soft face and braces, they’d eat him alive. And despite the nervous glance he cast their way, he puffed out his chest, ready to jump in on my behalf.
