You,the ugly voice inside me sneers.You would.
Not anymore.
“We should talk,” I tell her, steeling myself. “About your contract.”
Mia blinks up at me. There’s hope in her eyes, a spark that dances around the blue like a firefly lost at sea. “What, um… what about it?”
Do it. Break her heart.
Break her, and then save her.
“Mommy! Can Yulian stay for dinner?”
Eli’s voice shatters the moment. He trots to me, two takeout menus in hand, like he can’t quite decide.
“I…” I swallow around the lump in my throat. “I have to get to work.”
“Oh.” His face falls, eyes downcast. “Can we come, then? And eat later?”
“Eli,” Mia starts, “Yulian’s very busy. He can’t just?—”
“Alright.”
Her eyes bulge. “What?”
All my life, I’ve fought against weakness. Before I waspakhan,and then after, building a fortress around me every day. One that couldn’t be pierced by bullets, or knives, or cracked by the same feelings that almost broke me once.
Grief.
Loss.
Love.
Tonight, I lose that battle.
Willingly.
“I’ve got to check on Tikhon. Make sure he hasn’t blown up the lab.” I crouch low, as close as I can to Eli’s height. “Would you like to see how spy tech is made?”
His eyes brighten on the spot. Blue pools of light, just like his mother’s. “Really?!”
“If your mother says it’s okay.”
We both turn to her. “Can we, Mommy?” Eli pleads.
Guilt has never gripped me tighter. I was supposed to protect them. To end the contract. It would crush their hearts, but in doing so, it would save their lives.
But I’m not ready to let go yet.
One more night.
Just one more night, and I’ll do it.
One more night with the family I’ll never have.
Mia’s face melts into a smile. Soft, warm, like milk and honey. “Okay,” she whispers.
One more night, and then it’s over.
