“Jerrod,” Lady Dinah begins, her voice commanding her husband’s attention. “Do you remember Lyra?”
The chieftain’s gaze shifts to me, and I sway closer to Jasce.
“Of course. How could I forget such a face?”
Everything in me wants to shift even closer to Jasce, to make his father stop looking at me.
Instead, I dip my head in respect. “My Lord.”
“Lyra is with child,” Lady Dinah announces.
I cringe and prepare for Jasce’s scorn. To my surprise, he stands there as rigid as a tree trunk.
“Let’s hope the child is a boy,” Jerrod says.
I slip my fingers into my sleeves and will myself to not crumble in front of the chieftain. He’d probably enjoy that, watching me crumble.
One of the men in the crowd steps forward and bows before the dais. "My Lord, you are victorious today. House of Silver has surrendered."
The men cheer as tears prick at my eyes. I blink, willing them away, willing myself to not give into them in front of these people.
Everything will change for House of Silver now. Someone will try to take over leadership. Probably a distant relative.
Jasce’s hand drifts to the small of my back. Although, he might have intended his touch to be comforting, I feel the tension in his body, the anger.
Is it directed at his father for the taunting? At me, for not helping him before his father arrived or for not bearing his child? Or perhaps, he’s angry with himself?
All around us, the men celebrate their victory, but I cannot force myself to pretend and join in. I have nothing to celebrate.
* * *
When the celebration ends,Jasce leads me away from the throne room and toward his bedchamber, but he doesn’t follow me into the room.
“Where are you going?” I ask as a thousand questions bombard me at once, all the things I long to have him explain. I need to know what’s going to happen to Grandfather and his army.
“To bathe,” Jasce says. “I'll be back. Stay here.”
As soon as Jasce leaves, I step into the bedchamber with nothing but the sound of my breathing and the weight of my thoughts. Even Lillie is gone. She must have returned to her mother. The thought makes my stomach tighten the way it does when I think about my sisters.
My mind races over everything that has happened the past few days. Grandfather is likely dead or imprisoned. I lift my hand to my chest, expecting a twinge of pain or sadness, but I’m only left with a hollow sensation. Grandfather should have loved me better. He should have loved us all better.
I force aside the sad thoughts, but they’re quickly replaced by another painful truth. Lady Dinah lied to Jerrod—promised him a child that doesn't exist.
Jasce must be so angry at me. Does he think I told his mother I’m with child?
Olah, help me.
Please hear my prayers and help me.
I want to go home to Mother and my sisters.
I sit on the edge of the bed and unlace my bodice, needing out of this cotehardie. It clings to my skin like a web of lies. I rip the fabric away, tearing the material until I’m sitting on the bed in my chemise.
I lie flat and stare up at the ceiling, thinking of my family. Of my sisters, who are probably worried sick about me. Of a life that may not have seemed great to others, but I had everything I needed. Food. A bed. Family. Seashells. Books. So many books. And my garden full of flowers, herbs, and vegetables. My sisters took most of the harvest to the surrounding villages to feed the poor.
Moonlight sprawls through the window when Jasce returns and closes the door behind him.
His footsteps echo across the floor as he moves to sit on his side of the bed and shifts enough to meet my eyes.
