***
Dallas’s eyes shot open from a horrible dream. She stared up at the ceiling and realized she was lying on the floor. She tried to lift from the ground, but the excruciating pain wouldn’t allow her to lift up. She began touching her body parts, and everywhere she touched caused her to flinch. That was when she realized she wasn’t dreaming. A fresh set of tears began to trail down her face with thoughts of the look in Big Boy's eyes. He looked like the devil himself had awakened, a look she never experienced.
Thinking of the devil himself, the cloud of smoke that flew past her let her know he was still in the room. Her eyes began wandering then landed on him lying in the bed with his feet kicked up. He didn’t bother looking in her direction to acknowledge her scars. To add injury to insult, the nigga left her right there on the floor.
“I need to go to the hospital.” Dallas closed her eyes, wishing she could go back to sleep. “Kareem, please, I need to go to the emergency room.” She called him by his middle name, something she did when she was serious.
“Get the fuck up and go, bitch. I ain’t taking you, and you better tell them mothafuckas you got jumped. I really don’t give a fuck what you tell them. You bet not mention my fucking name.” He took another drag from his blunt dismissively.
She could barely move, so how the fuck did he expect her to drive herself? She didn’t have a phone to call the paramedics, and she knew he wouldn’t allow her to call from his phone.
After laying there for some time, Dallas used the little strength she had to lift herself from the floor. She started with short steps and gradually increased her pace. She cautiously took steps because of the excessive pain. She headed into the restroom to slide back into her clothing. Once she was successfully dressed, she slid into her shoes and grabbed her purse from the nightstand.
She didn’t bother looking at Big Boy because right now she had those visions of stabbing him up and leaving him to die. She hated him to the point she wished he’d die a slow and painful death. Granted, she was wrong for giving Kasim her prized possession, but he too was living foul. She didn’t bother mentioning his whereabouts or even the test she had found. Itwas pointless because the moment she made it out of the door, she had no intentions of never coming back.
Finally making it to her car, Dallas slowly climbed inside and sank into the seat. She flipped down the mirror and began examining her face. There was a deep gash above her eye, and her lip was extremely swollen. There were small specks of dried up blood and even her tooth felt slightly loose. She thought of what lie she could possibly tell the hospital. She thought of just driving to Norah’s, but she was gonna save herself the embarrassment.
Dallas started her car, and before pulling off, she had this strange feeling as if someone was watching her. She looked toward her home and connected eyes with Big Boy who stood in the window. He was giving her a threatening look with not an ounce of empathy.
The two locked eyes momentarily, and this helped Dallas realize the love she had for him suffocated under the weight of his fists. She had to leave him for good and not because she hated him but because she loved herself enough to know she deserved better.
As she drove away from her home, the weight of her past slowly lifted off her shoulders. She wasn’t gonna hold on to the memories of his smile, his laughter, nor his once gentle touch because those memories were now tainted with pain and fear. She couldn’t stay and tolerate the abuse that would come with the relationship because after hitting her once, he would definitely do it again.
The road ahead for Dallas was uncertain, but she was ready to face it head on. She knew she'd stumble, she'd cry, and she'd doubt herself, but she also knew she'd rise again, wiser andmore whole. She wanted to feel whole again, and for once live for herself. Everything about their relationship revolved around what Big Boy wanted. What made Big Boy happy. It was time she found herself within herself. Maybe even find love because this wasn’t love.
Over the last year, she had felt the distance between them as if their love was fading away. Time after time she’d make excuses for him repeatedly that Norah always caught on to. She was always taught not to take advice from a woman without a man, but now she understood her best friend saw him for who he truly was.
It tripped Dallas up that a complete stranger gave her quivers; that same feeling she had gotten from Big Boy once upon a time. Granted, Kasim was a bit strange, but he was delicate with her. Not a moment that went by she didn’t think of Kasim but him forcing her to leave played in her mind. Maybe he loved his lifestyle. Maybe he was infatuated with the women. Dallas wasn’t quite sure, but he told her to leave loud and clear.
Busting a complete U-turn, Dallas's heart raced as she drove in the complete opposite direction from the hospital. Her mind told her to go get the care she needed, but for once she was gonna follow her heart. She headed toward the Kingly Dynasty in hopes she wouldn’t regret her decision. She had nowhere else to go without being judged.
She was gonna see where Kasim’s head was at, or at least use him for protection. She knew after leaving Big Boy he would definitely come looking for her. It wasn’t out of love; it was out of humiliation and ego. He had a very egotistical problem, so he wasn’t gon’ just take it to the chin.
21
KASIM
Kasim sat alone on the beach, the warm sand beneath him, giving him a different feeling than the dark world he usually inhabited. He hadn't left the Dynasty in years, but today he'd made an exception. He needed to ease his mind and get his thoughts together. He was too content by the promise of solitude, but the rhythmic crash of the waves gave him a sense of peace.
As he gazed out into the ocean, his thoughts began to wander. He thought about his life outside of his father’s empire—his choices and his regrets. His eyes drifted to a woman walking along the shoreline. Her long hair danced in the breeze, and her laughter carried on the wind. She seemed carefree, unencumbered by the weights of the world. As he observed her, his thoughts shifted to Dallas.
There was so much he wanted to know about her, but their time was short lived. He wondered about her story, her passions, her fears. He imagined what it would be like to walk alongside her, to know her secrets, and even bend her over right here in the ocean.
The sun began to set, casting a golden glow over the beach. Kasim knew it was time to go face his reality, but this time he had a different approach. He was gonna storm into his father’s office and let him know the games, the betrayal, and the soliciting was over. He could use Rahim and Shy for his demise because by the way Tasim sounded, he was ready to throw in the towel also.
Kasim lifted from the sand that he had sunken into. He made his way down the trail and back to his whip. The entire walk, he looked at the beachgoers in amazement. Everyone seemed to live a normal life, something he hadn't experienced. He was always so secluded. Trapped away, walking in his father’s penumbra. He wasn't sure if it was Dallas that gave him the sudden change of heart, but he was determined to find solace. Even if he'd never find love, he was gonna find the peace he needed to give his life clarity.
Climbing into his whip, Kasim turned to 94.7 radio. A song that he remembered vividly played and it made him think of his mother. He would always hear her humming the song as a child, and listening to the lyrics made him wonder if she was ever in love. The way his mother and father tiptoed around them didn't give a loving parents upbringing because he never cared enough to know. He was always so distant and sheltered himself.
“Can I go on my way without you?
Whoa, how can I know?
If I go on my way without you
Whoa, where would I go . . .”
***
