I smoke a bowl to clear my mind and relax my nerves. I know nothing will come of this, but something inside makes me giddy to try.
I gather my things, put them in my bag, and start to wander in the woods. It’s almost midnight, and I want to get situated.
I tread softly through the dark, dreary night, I’m filled with anticipation.
Each step sends a cascade of dry leaves crunching beneath my worn boots, echoing softly in the stillness. I forgo the comfort of a flashlight; instead, the luminous glow of the full moon casts a silvery sheen across the landscape, illuminating my path as I venture deeper into the embrace of the woods. The distant crack of twigs breaking apart resonates around me, but a calm resolve settles in. It’s likely just an animal navigating the underbrush.
As I wander, I come upon a perfect clearing, a sanctuary nestled amongst the towering sentinels of the forest. The trees stand guard, their stout trunks draped in rich green moss, while delicate mushrooms peek out from their bases like little sentinels of this hidden realm. The air is saturated with the earthy fragrance of damp soil and dew, creating a sense of serenity that surrounds me, grounding me in nature.
It’s so peaceful out here.
I lower myself onto the chilly, unyielding ground, feeling the rough texture beneath me as I pull out my well-worn notebook. My phone shows it’s 11:56 pm.
I take a deep breath, and with shaky hands, I put the necklace over my head. It sits perfectly on my chest, and I feel confident wearing it. Like I matter. Like I belong.
I meditate with deep, intentional breaths, envisioning roots extending from my body deep into the earth, anchoring me firmly in place. In this stillness, I call upon my higher self and spirit guides, seeking guidance and wisdom as I prepare to weave this spell.
While uncertainty flickers at the edges of my thoughts, I embrace the knowledge that flows within me, trusting that I possess the essence needed to forge this mystical connection.
I take several deep breaths in and out and find myself relaxed. I glance at my phone one last time. Midnight.
I hold my journal in my hand while the other cradles the gem, and I begin to calmy recite what I wrote down:
“In shadows deep where spirits dwell,
I call on thee; I weave this spell.
Three men of fire, dark as night,
come forth to heed my call tonight.
By the blood of the earth, the veil I break,
with ancient names, your forms awake.
From realms unknown, I bid you rise,
heed my voice, reveal your guise.
Demon of desire, demon of care,
demon of passion, our bond we’ll share.
Together, we’ll weave our fates entwined,
by my will and by this rhyme.
So mote it be!”
I repeat the spell three times.
Nothing.
Abso-fucking-lutely nothing.
I chuckle to myself, the sound bouncing off the gnarled trunks of the tall trees around me. “What a fool I am to think anything might actually happen,” I mutter, my voice barely above a whisper in the stillness of the forest.
As my laughter fades, my smile wanes, replaced by a resigned sigh, and I shrug my shoulders. It was worth a shot, even if it didn’t pan out.
