“At my last school, across town, I started dating the phys ed teacher. He wasn’t good-looking at all, and he was the same height as me in bare feet, shorter when I wore heels. But there was something abouthim.”
They crossed at a green light and scooted round a couple of teens kissing passionately while standing in the middle of thesidewalk.
“I can’t explain it. He listened to me, as if what I had to say was fascinating. As if I was fascinating. He paid attention, not looking behind me to see who was coming into the room who might be more exciting. Not droning on about himself all the time. He was funny, too, which I always like in aman.”
“So you found your bliss with a short, funny guy who listened toyou.”
“Did I mention he wasbalding?”
“No, youdidn’t.”
“He was. But we became friends and one thing led to another. Next thing I’m in bed with this guy. I swear I turned the light on after an hour just to make sure it was the same man in my bed. I mean, he was…incredible.”
“Okay, I need to start looking for short, funny, balding men. Shouldn’t be tootough.”
“It’s not a joke, Shari. Brad had moves on him that…” She tossed her head back, and her long wavy black hair swayed behind her. “Phew! I’m telling you that man should be in the tongueOlympics.”
“What happened tohim?”
The blissful smile faded fast. “He dumped me for a former Miss Minnesota. Think blond, Swedish, you’d want to killher.”
“But you’regorgeous.”
“Thanks, but she was gorgeouser. The bastard. He’d made me look beyond the surface to the man inside, and he dumped me for atwinkie.”
“So I’m not looking for a bald, short, funny guy with amazing tonguecontrol.”
“Ah, go out with whoever you like. Just buy a vibrator, so you’ll always have a love you can dependon.”
YAWNING and thinkingshe’d get to bed early, Shari was still thinking about Therese’s theory of men when she got home. She checked her mail in the lobby, and winced. Two letters to her downstairs neighbor. Suddenly, the dyslexic postie wasn’t quite socharming.
Unfortunately, her apartment building had security boxes, so she couldn’t slip the letters in the correct mailbox. She could leave them on the console table in the foyer, but it didn’t seem quite right. Luke hadn’t done anything wrong, he’d merely embarrassed themboth.
She picked up his mail along with her own. Maybe she could slip the letters under his door in the dead ofnight.
But when she got to her floor, puffing slightly from running up two flights of stairs, a familiar shape hovered outside her door.Luke.
She started to blush, and wanted to kick herself for being such a fool. So he read a how-to book. Good forhim.
He turned as she approached and, in spite of her new knowledge, her knees still went weak. The eyes, the smile, the dimple… Could an Olympic-gold-medal tongue really compete with allthat?
“Hi,” he said. He didn’t seem embarrassed, so she decided she wouldn’t be,either.
“Hi.” She halted outside her apartment and sorted through the letters in her hand, handing him histwo.
“Thanks. These are for you.” She took the bundle from his outstretched hand,notthinking about the last time they’d done this. It was the furthest thing from hermind.
“Um, sorry about last time,” hesaid.
He had to bring it up. No wonder he was a dud in bed if his social graces were any indication. What was the appropriate response here?Hope you get it right? Let me know if you need help with yourhomework?
She still hadn’t recovered from the discovery that her fantasy man had turned out to be a limp noodle in the sex department. And thinking of limp noodles made her wonder if he had some kind of physicalproblem.
Her eyes focused on his crotch. Before she caught herself, she gave a soundless gasp and glanced up again, ascertaining that this did not, in fact, appear to be his problem. A respectable bulge nestled in the crotch of hisjeans.
She caught a sparkle in his eyes she could have sworn was amusement. He thought this wasfunny?
In any case, size didn’t matter half as much as what a man did with hisequipment.
