“I’m hurting you,” I tell her, hating myself for how good her pain feels.
“I’m fine, just keep going.” She smiles at me encouragingly, and I kiss her lips to try and distract her from it. It doesn’tfeel like a sin, it feels like all the missing parts of me just came together, and I guess I get to kiss her anytime I want now that I’m not denying myself.
I keep my thrusts slow to try and help her adjust to my size, and the moans she makes, be they out of pain or pleasure, sound perfect. I can’t stop looking at her; this whole experience is different from anything I’ve had before. I don’t feel like I’m fuckin’ her. I feel as though I’m pouring everything from my heart into her, and I can’t help wondering if she has any clue how deeply I feel for her.
I hold still when I’m fully inside her again, looking down and appreciating how she looks now that she belongs to me. I may have crushed all my morals and betrayed my brother, but here in the moment, it feels like it was always meant to be this way.
I just have to hope that he can forgive me. I know how much he loved her; he would want to know that she was being taken care of, and I may be going about it all wrong, but I can assure him that she ain’t in any safer hands than mine.
“What are you thinking about?” she asks, looking up at me, all curious and confused.
“I’m just thinking about how right this feels, even if it shouldn’t,” I admit, kissing her before she can speak, and continuing to roll my hips into hers. I don’t need for her to tell me it’s okay, just to make me feel better. Nothing, not even guilt, is going to stop her from being mine now.
“Dev.” I shake him awake when I realize how late it is. “Dev, we fell asleep,” I whisper, wishing I had longer to watch him. He looks so peaceful, almost cute, when he’s asleep.
He opens his eyes, taking a little time to adjust, and suddenly, I panic that he’s going to regret what happened. I don’t think I could handle him going back on everything he said.
“What time is it, darlin’?” He reaches around my neck and drags me closer to him, making my stomach flip, and the excitement inside me hard to hold in.
“It’s two pm, my shift at the diner will have finished by now. I should go home.” I hate to ruin the moment, but with the way my parents are being right now, I really need to keep them happy.
“Home?” He croaks a laugh.
“Yeah.” I pull away from him and drag myself out of bed before I fall back to sleep in his arms.
“You know I’m heading back to the club, don’t you wanna come with me?” He frowns suspiciously at me as I start trying to locate my clothes.
“Dev, I’d love to, but right now my parents are?—”
“I was gonna let you ride on the back of the bike and everything.” He shrugs, with a playful grin on his face that I’ve never seen before.
“You and me, on your bike?” I check if I'm hearing him right.
“You remember how I told you it was gonna be, right?” He frowns.
“Yeah, I–” Of course, I remember. How could I forget? I’m still wondering if I dreamed it…Maybe I’m still in the dream.
“Old ladies ride the saddle, it’s club rules.” He reaches his arms up and tucks them under his head, watching me scurry around trying to get dressed.
“I just don’t want to piss off my folks, they’re already talking about making me change colleges,” I admit.
“You're studying here in Long Beach, right?” he checks, sitting up and looking a little more concerned.
“Well, that's the plan, but they seem to want me to go to New York instead.”
“New York?” Dev’s eyes stretch open, and I chew on my nail nervously.
“Hey, don’t get like that, come here.” He reaches out for my hand and pulls me back onto the bed.
“You ain’t goin’ to New York, okay? Leave it to me, I’ll speak to your father.”
“Speak to my—Dev, my parents can’t know about us!” I shriek.
“What are you talking about? The whole of Long Beach is gonna know about us, you're my old lady. You come with a warnin’ label now.” He grabs the back of my head, fisting my hair so he can pull me onto his lips.
“Well, we’re just gonna have to hold off on that a little while longer; my parents are gonna need to become adjusted to the situation.” I did not take this into consideration, and I can already see it being a huge problem. Dev wasn’t lying when hesaid this was an all-in situation. Any reservations he had about us seem to have been obliterated, along with my virginity.
“Look, if you're scared, we can go there together right now and explain.”
