My head naturally moves towards hers, and when she holds her breath and rubs her lips together to prepare for what comes next, I pause.
“I can’t,” I whisper, closing my eyes and allowing myself, just for a second, to imagine how it would feel. I’ve kissed plenty of women in my time, but with her, I know it would be different. It would mean something, and that scares the shit outta me.
“Drink your water and get some rest,” I tell her, heading over to the bed and pulling back the covers for her. When she lowers her head and sighs, I have to remind myself that I’m doing all this for the greater good.
“Fine.” She picks her head back up and storms toward the bed, staring up at me fiercely as she kicks off her sneakers and rips the covers from my hand so she can get beneath them. I leave her to get comfortable and head for the door.
“Wait…where are you going?” She suddenly sounds scared.
“I’m heading back over to the club to get you some Advil, believe me, you’ll thank me for it when you wake up,” I explain without turning back around. Heading out the door, I make my way to the bar so I can raid the med box.
“Is she okay? I did try to steady her up a little.” Eden follows me into the kitchen, looking concerned.
“She’s fine, I just came to get her some of these.” I rattle the pill bottle when I finally locate it among all the other crap in here.
“Dev, I know you don’t wanna hear this, but I get the impression she needs you. You’ve both lost someone you care about and, right now, I’ll bet she’s feeling like you're the only person who understands her.”
“What’s goin’ on?” Wrath joins us, wrapping his arm around Eden’s middle and resting his chin on her shoulder.
“Your wife here thinks I should be bonding with my brother’s ex over our grief.” I smile at him sarcastically.
“I never actually said that, I was just suggesting you be a little more patient with her,” Eden states.
“She’s kinda got a point.” Wrath obviously takes her side.
“Right now, I’m just focusin’ on getting her sober enough to take home.” I storm past them and back out the door. Ignoring the filthy look Trinity gives me as I march through the yard and back up the stairs to Millie’s room.
She’s fast asleep when I let myself in, and I place the Advil on the bedside counter next to the half-drunk bottle of water before sitting on the mattress beside her and resting my head back against the headboard. I look down at her, and when I see that some of her blonde hair has fallen over her cheek, I use one of my fingers to carefully brush it away, so I can see her better. Then, using the same trembling finger, I stroke her soft cheek and smile to myself. I can see why Corey was so in love with her. How could he not be? She’s beautiful. Just the thought of her having any kinda affection toward me makes me feel real special, but it doesn’t eliminate the guilt. I don’t like having to reject her, but I have no choice. Something happening between us would be wrong, and this girl has to be protected at all costs. I lower my head and place a soft kiss on her forehead, and when it causes her to stir, she automatically wraps her arms around me, snuggling into me the way she did back at the house. I decide to let her be, because this is the last opportunity I’ll ever get to have her in my arms.
Iwake up to the rise and fall of his big, heavy chest, and when I look up and see him fast asleep, I watch him for a while. Dev’s no Prince Charming, he has a tattoo on his handsome face, and looks scary even when he’s sleeping, but it feels good to be wrapped up in these huge, muscular arms.
I reach up and stroke my fingers across his bristly jaw, and when he suddenly opens his eyes, he snatches at my wrist like it’s an automatic defense.
“We really need to stop waking up like this,” I tease him, and when he sees the position we’re in, he quickly leaps off the bed like it just caught fire.
“Yeah, well, someone had to make sure you didn’t choke on your own vomit,” he snaps back, clearing his throat, then storming into the bathroom and slamming the door.
I slowly sit up, massaging the throb in my temples as I take a look around me and start recalling everything that happened last night. I drank…a lot. I watched him getting his cock sucked by that woman. I asked him to…oh fuck!
I sit on the edge of the bed, waiting for him to come back out of the bathroom. I have no idea what I’m gonna say to him, and when he eventually opens the door and my stomach flips, I’m not sure if it’s nerves or last night's alcohol consumption.
“I’m sorry.” I swallow my pride and apologize straight off the bat. It was hugely inappropriate of me to ask him to kiss me on the day of his brother’s funeral. It was inappropriate of me to ask at all. How could I have been so disrespectful to Corey?
Dev says nothing, just continues to stare at me with that harsh look that I can never read.
“I should call a cab and go home.” I smile awkwardly, looking around and trying to locate my phone.
“This is the final warning I’m gonna give ya.” Dev steps closer, picking my phone up from the side table and offering it to me. “I don’t wanna see youagain.”
I take hold of my phone, but he keeps a firm grip on it, almost as if he doesn’t want to let go.
“I don’t think that’s true.” I look up at him accusingly, knowing that my words are gonna frustrate him. I don’t know where my courage has come from, but all of a sudden, I’m reminded why kissing him last night felt so important.
I need clarity. I need to know that I didn’t break Corey’s heart for nothing and that my feelings toward Dev are real.
I hear the growl that comes from deep in his chest.
“Believe what you want, kiddo, but that’s the way it’s gonna be. Come on, I’ll take ya home.” He heads for the door, while I slide back into my sneakers, then follow after him like a delinquent child.
