“There’s a procedure to follow,” he replies. “Lie down and get into a comfortable position. I’ll dim the lights, and we can get started.”
I shrug and do as he asks. Hypnosis can’t be all bad, if it means not having to talk or answer more questions. He turns down the lights, and a mellow tune plays. It’s comforting, almost lullaby-like, with gentle chimes.
“Close your eyes,” he instructs. “You’re in a safe place. All I want you to do is listen to the sound of my voice…”
He starts by taking me through a guided meditation. I visualize a golden orb hovering above the top of my head. His dull tone causes his sentences to drift into nothingness. I imagine an orb of light warming me, sweeping from my forehead to the tips of my toes. My tense limbs relax one at a time, releasing all my lingering tension, and I sink into the cushions below.
“Now, tell me what you see,” Doctor Warner encourages. “Take me back to after your sister disappeared.”
My mind wanders, rewinding back in time.
I’m in my bedroom, pressing my ear to the door to listen to my father and Sheriff Brady talking. Sarah didn’t come home last night. She went to a party, and no one has seen or heard from her since. It’s summer vacation. She’s probably spending time with the guy she’s dating, a jock from the hockey team. Dad doesn’t know about them, and it’s best it stays that way.
I can only make out snatches of their conversation, but they both sound worried, despite Dad’s earlier assurances that Sarah will turn up.
“Very good,” Doctor Warner says. His voice sounds far away. “Why don’t you take me to an earlier time? A memory from childhood?”
I’m transported back again, watching my life like a movie.
Sarah and I are playing hide-and-seek in the park. We must be around six or seven. Mom waves at us to join her, beaming.
I haven’t seen her smile like that in years. When was the sparkle in her eyes extinguished?
We race to be the first to reach her. Sarah wins, as usual, but I don’t mind. We collapse in a giggling heap. Our chubby hands greedily reach for a slab of cake, stuffing it into our mouths and guzzling it down.
I can still taste it on my tongue.
Sweet vanilla sponge, a gooey strawberry jam, and sprinkled with extra sugar.
The picnic blanket is laden with an assortment of goodies that Dad doesn’t let us eat. This is a special treat.
Sarah talks in a silly voice while she eats, spraying crumbs everywhere.
“I wish I were like you, Sarah,” I say between laughs. “You’re the funniest person in the whole wide world.”
“Come on, Sarah. Don’t talk with your mouth full,” Mom chastises, but she’s not angry. She wipes jam off Sarah’s chin fondly. “Where are your manners?”
“I don’t have any,” Sarah declares proudly. “Watch me do this, Erin!”
She jumps up to do a cartwheel, not caring that she’s showing off her pink frilly panties. Unfortunately, she messes up her landing and skids, leaving a grass stain on her new pretty dress.
I clap my hands, then I turn to Mom.
Instead of smiling, Mom’s expression changes. Her smile fades as she spots my father storming across the park. He must have come straight from work because he’s wearing his smart suit.
Sarah, oblivious to Dad speeding up behind her, continues parading around. She twirls and dances like a clumsy ballerina, while I giggle behind my hands.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Dad yanks Sarah’s arms and spins her to face him. “You’re making a fool of yourself!”
Sarah’s face falls.
Our fun is over.
“What is this, Jocelyn?” He surveys our picnic in disgust. He picks up a bag of chips then launches it into the distance, making Mom flinch. “Junk! Pure filth!”
Mom’s shoulders slump. “They’ve been good today. A little cake won’t hurt them.”
“We’re going home at once,” he snarls. “Throw this garbage away.”
