A long, deep growl came from the shadows of the bar. I turned my head to find out where the noise was but as I did, Nadia stood and gripped her hand around the man’s neck who was at least a head and half taller than her.
“This is a safe space,” she declared, her voice filled with determination. With a forceful shove, she propelled him backwards, causing him to slide on his rear. The sound of his body hitting the floor echoed through the room, as he collided with the table next to us.
What. The. Hell.
I stood with my mouth hung open. There was beer all over the man, and the club members rushed toward him and pulled him up.
“Whoa, dude, the fuck is your problem? You know the rules in here,” Karma, one of the members, snarled. He hovered over the now-standing man with a stern glare. “This is our bar, and we don’t take kindly to that kind of bullshit and disrespect, especially to Emm. What’s your name?”
I blinked in surprise.
“Beck,” he said, and looked around nervously. He clearly realized that he’d made a huge mistake. “I’m sorry, I meant nothing by it. I just thought it’d be funny to mess with the new girl in town, you know?”
Nadia shook her head, clearly disgusted with him. “I suppose you learned a lesson about not treating a woman with disrespect like that. Now get, and don’t come back.”
Beck hesitated for a moment, clearly contemplating arguing or trying to play it off as a joke, but then he turned and swayed out of the bar.
With the tension broken, the group of Iron Fang members returned to their normal chatter, laughing and joking. Nadia sat back down and offered me a weak smile, clearly embarrassed by the incident.
“Sorry about that,” she said, gesturing to the table. “Sometimes people can’t help themselves, especially when they see someone new.”
I smiled back, still a little shaken by the experience. “It’s alright. I just didn’t expect that kind of reaction from you.”
Because you are so damn small.
Nadia nodded. “I know the club can be intimidating at first. We’ve tried to be really welcoming, and we are. We really care about you, and we want you to feel welcome here. If you’re looking for a sense of belonging and a group of people who will have your back, I don’t think you’ll find a better place to settle down than here. Even if I do look small, I got some fight in me.” She held out a fist and waved it in the air.
As we continued talking, I couldn’t help but feel a swell of gratitude for the acceptance and warmth that these people had shown me. It’s a stark contrast to the loneliness and isolation I’ve felt for so long, and I wonder if maybe, just maybe, this place could be a new beginning for me.
But, that isn’t why I’m here. I’m not here to find a home. I’m here to find Locke, which I was not any closer to doing.
Now I felt too guilty to even ask where Locke was. No one has brought up his name, and it would be far too suspicious now if I brought it up. They would know I’ve used them and played them. And I didn’t want to do that because, finally, I felt like I belonged.
The sun was high and the days were getting warmer. It was close to summer and the water didn’t feel as cold anymore. It could very well be I was getting used to the cold dips in the lake, or the heat I felt on my body when I stepped in.
I took my caddy, one that floated in the water as I waded out about waist deep. I dunked my head under the water to soak myself and rose above the surface. The sun heated the skin on my back but also another heat filled me; from eyes watching.
I turned to check my surroundings, but the only eyes I could see were those of the wolf that had not left my side when I stayed at the campsite.
“Hey wolf,” I said. I didn’t shout at him, I figured he could hear me. Animals had excellent hearing, right?
He tilted his head, his eyes gazed upon me with a fierce intensity, like he always did when I bathed or he saw me naked. Do animals realize when people are naked? Do they know humans are at their most vulnerable?
“Watcha doing, big boy? Just going to sit there?”
He didn’t wag his tail. He continued to stare at me, inching closer and closer to the water.
I haven’t purposely touched the wolf. I’ve been far too scared since that one night. The wolf has taken plenty of times to brush up against my leg, begging me to touch him or give him some sort of companionship, but I have been far too reluctant.
But now, as the wolf crept closer to the water’s edge, something within me shifted. Maybe it was the newfound sense of camaraderie I had experienced with the Iron Fang members that made me more open to connection, or perhaps it was the isolation of living in the wilderness that drove me to seek companionship in unlikely places. Without overthinking it, I extended my hand towards the wolf, offering a tentative gesture to come forward.
The wolf paused, his eyes meeting mine in a moment of silent understanding. Then, with a sudden grace that belied his wild nature he took tentative steps into the water. The wolf was large, so walking out toward me wouldn’t drown the beast, he would just stand right beside me.
When he came closer, he dipped his head and nuzzled my hand. A rush of emotions flooded through me - surprise, joy, fear - as I felt the warmth of fur beneath my touch. It was comforting and not as scary as I thought it would be. The thoughts of blood running over its body when we first met, of when he killed an intruder weren’t there now. Only calmness and trust.
This wolf wouldn’t hurt me. This animal was here beside me for a reason. Maybe he was my spirit guide? My alebrije? Because he was a canine, I would consider him as a symbol of loyalty and protection. I wondered if anyone else could really see him?
I let out a huff of laughter. He looked up at me with questioning eyes. “Yeah, I think I’ve gone loco.”
