Panic rose in my throat.
Could this all be linked to me somehow? Bear was so adamant that dreams were so real in his world. That once we were bonded, my eyes would be opened. That I should pay attention to the dreams that I was given.
I wanted to laugh at that. Who would want a nightmare to be true? Who would want any of that to be true?
But this wasn’t a nightmare or a dream. This was history.
I could feel the icy chill tingling on my bare feet, the crackling of the dying fire, and the gritty touch of ash on my face. This history wasn’t mine… was it?
Just like when I was replaying my parents’ death each night. I could tell it was real. I could tell when I entered a dream and tried to stop their punishments when they were fake.
I knew what was real, what was fake.
And this was real.
My hands clenched tightly, the knuckles turning white. I observed the couple, their eyes locked on the baby, their faces filled with a mix of love and sorrow. As I stood there, my breath caught in my throat. I could hear the faint sound of their whispered words of farewell.
“Be safe, my sweet Nadia,” her mother said.
Oh my god.
My eyes popped open, and I blinked several times. It was the first time I didn’t have a nightmare.
I guess it would depend on what degree of nightmare I just witnessed because it wasn’t necessarily a pleasant dream or a dream at all. It felt utterly real, and it wasn’t sunshine and roses.
A tear dripped down my cheek; I rubbed it away quickly.
My life the past two weeks was nothing but a whirlwind.
Right now, I didn’t want it tainted. I found someone I truly cared about. Bear should be my focus. I shouldn’t wake up crying about a past I could not control. I should be happy that I had a man that I had deep feelings for.
I rubbed my chest, feeling warmth spread through my body. It was an odd feeling. It wrapped me in a blanket, an immediate sense of comfort, of love. I’d yet to say the word, but I felt it.
I let out a breath. The panic that had risen from my past quickly dissipated. One step at a time. Bear would help me through this. I knew he would.
The dimly lit room enveloped me, casting shadows across the space. Before me, a slumbering figure emitted deep, rhythmic snores. Pressing my face against the massive, furry form, I inhaled the unmistakable scent of Bear. Familiar and comforting, it mingled with the air as I became attuned to his distinctive, motor-like breathing, a constant presence in my life.
The room didn’t reek of sex anymore. In fact, it smelled quite nice. My eyes adjusted, and it wasn’t completely black. The sun was streaming in through the small slats of the blinds and curtains, but even with the tiny streams of light, I could see more.
Like the grain of wood in the table, the swirls and intricate designs, almost like it was telling a story about how it grew. From plentiful watered years to years of drought and clouded skies. I shook my head, staring at it. Why would that come to my head?
I cocked my head and also wondered how I could see that so well in the dark. Then I touched my nose to scratch it, and I realized… I didn’t have my glasses.
My vision had been… corrected?
I placed my hand on my chest, laying away from Bear. Not that I was trying to get away, but I had a lot of information to unload here. A lot to sort through before he woke up. How would I explain this to him?
I had parents. I grew up with them. They were not of my flesh and blood. Looking back, how could I have not seen it before? I never looked like them. I was short; they were tall. I had darker hair; theirs was lighter.
They were adamant I should always blend in, never stick out. I thought it was because of their jobs. They may have looked like your typical secretary and driver for a well-attuned family in New York, but when I got older, I knew better.
The skills they taught me when I was younger were no random hobbies or their love for James Bond movies.
I huffed and shook my head.
Damnit.
I’d been blind for so damn long it was almost sickening. They were trying to protect me. I hoped it was more than a job. I wrapped my arms around my legs.
