“Every morning,” Law replied.
Law was a big guy. Bigger than Jude even. They’d wrestled and boxed more than a few times. Even aged ten years, Lawappeared like he could take anyone on. And enjoy every second of it.
“You look better than I thought.”
“And what did you expect?” Jude was almost afraid to ask.
“Truthfully, I don’t know. It’s not like you were in best shape the last time I’d seen you.”
Jude shook his head. He set the knife down to grip the counter edge. He’d been such a prick to his friend. “I’m sorry.” He said it over the phone, but the words needed to be spoken face to face.
“I want to say that it’s not necessary,” Law responded. He swallowed hard. “But I think I need to hear it. For you to look me in the eye when you do.”
Jude lifted his head. He met Law’s intense gaze. “I’m sorry,” Jude repeated.
“Ten years, man,” Law said. “Ten fucking years.”
So many lost and wasted years. Jude nodded.
Law sighed. “At least we can catch up now. Got a beer?”
“Lemonade, water, or coffee.” He wasn’t sure how old the coffee was. It had been years since Jude had drunk it himself. Part of Jude trying to better himself.
“I would kill for some of your homemade lemonade,” Law replied.
Jude turned toward the fridge.
“So, no drinking?” Law asked quietly.
Not since the first year that Jude had lost Sam. He’d woken up in his own vomit one too many times. Since Jude didn’t plan on drinking himself to death, he’d stopped. “Not for years. Clean living for me.”
Law was grinning at him as Jude returned with the pitcher of lemonade. It was nearly full since Liam wasn’t around to help Jude drink it.
“What?” Jude scowled at his friend.
“I’m just relieved.”
“I wasn’t trying to kill myself,” Jude told him. “The alcohol. I thought it helped. With the memories. To numb me.” He had felt too much. Had been too raw. Until Jude hadn’t cared about anything or anyone.
“I know,” Law replied gently.
“Sam would have hated seeing me like that.” Jude had found a ruined photo of him and Sam from one of his drunken rages. Thinking back, it still hurt Jude to remember.
“I still worried,” Law said. “Ten years of thinking the phone would ring and someone would be telling me that you drank yourself to death.”
“I couldn’t do it.” Jude filled a glass with ice before setting it in front of Law.
Law filled his glass. “I’m glad.”
“I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” Jude said sincerely. “I told myself I would answer your call eventually. Then a year turned to two then three and it just got easier not to answer.”
“You know I would have been here on your doorstep in a second if you hadn’t at least sent the text.”
“I do know that.” That was why Jude always sent the two words that he knew would hold his teammates at bay.
“I was respecting your wishes,” Law told him.
Jude nodded. Had it been the right move? He didn’t know. There was so much that Jude didn’t know. That made sense at the time but now filled him with regret.
