Jude looked up and met his gaze. “Thank you.”
Liam figured out what he needed to do. To say. It might have been ten years, but Jude was still feeling the loss of his soul mate deeply. No matter how selfish Liam wanted to be, there was no chance for him with Jude. None. He could at least set Jude’s mind to ease. “I won’t…I won’t bother you. Ask you for anything. I understand.”
Jude stared at him for several long minutes. He rose slowly. “Thank you for today.”
“You’re welcome, Jude.” Liam stood as well. He wasn’t hungry any longer either. “I’m going to go inside now.”
“That’s probably a good idea,” Jude agreed.
“I’ll stay out of your way,” Liam vowed. It wouldn’t be easy, but Jude was obviously hurting. Liam had wanted a friend, okay he’d been hoping for more, but Jude wasn’t ready. After ten years Jude might never be ready. No wonder he spent so much time on his own.
“I can hear you,” Jude said suddenly.
“What?”
“When both our windows are open. I can hear you. When you talk to Nicky. I knew you were putting together your playroom.”
Liam felt like he’d been slapped. There was no telling what Jude had overheard. Or how long his neighbor had been listening. Liam’s privacy had been violated. It explained so much though. Why Jude spoke to him the way he had. Jude had inside knowledge of Liam’s whole world.
“I should have told you sooner,” Jude said. “I’m very sorry.”
He should be more upset. Liam knew that in his head. Except that had at least opened the door for the enjoyment of the last couple of days. Even if that same door was now firmly being closed. And locked. “Yeah, sure.”
Jude sighed. “It was wrong of me. I wish…well, I wish a lot of things, but I should have told you.”
Yes, but they needed to move past that. “I’ll close my windows. At least the ones on your side of the house.”
“Okay.”
Liam turned.
“Liam?”
Fuck! Liam just wanted to go inside and crawl into bed. He had stuffies to cuddle and hold. Instead, he pulled in all his resolve and faced Jude.
“Please forgive me.” Leaning forward, he brushed his lips gently over Liam’s.
“I forgive you,” Liam replied. He turned and was relieved when Jude didn’t stop him again.
Liam slid the door open and closed it quietly behind him. He picked Hades up, cuddling his cat under his chin then went straight for his bedroom and the bed calling his name. He yanked down the blankets before crawling onto the mattress. Liam hastily covered himself and let the tears fall.
Why?
Why did he finally meet the most perfect Daddy only to find that he had no chance? Liam couldn’t compete against a ghost. He didn’t even want to. Liam just wanted to be loved the way that Jude was still deeply committed to his previous boy.
Hades licked the bottom of Liam’s chin, offering comfort. See, his baby wasn’t that evil. And Liam could get through this. It was just a crush. Nothing more than a crush.
* * * * *
Jude
He stared at the phone in his hand.
There wasn’t a word for how bad that Jude had hurt Liam. It had been obvious that Liam had been close to tears. Jude didn’t know how to fix things. What to do. He’d fucked up. This was like losing Sam all over again. That was why Jude was staring athis phone. Jude could feel the darkness trying to pull him back down.
Jude hadn’t called anyone for over ten years.
Scrolling through his contacts, he stopped at the O’s. Jude knew who he wanted to speak with. He just didn’t know if he could do it.
