This was, naturally, when there was a knock on the door, and Molun and Arvusarrived.
“Dinner time!” Molun said cheerfully.
“I thought I’d eat on my own today,” Perian said, the words not coming out quite as firmly as he wanted, but it was a work in progress.
Molun and Arvus exchanged looks.
“Told you,” Arvus said.
“Told who what?” Perian asked, confused.
Molun sighed. “As much as Brannal seemed to think it would be a good idea for us to get up to all sorts of adventures while he was gone, I thought you were maybe not quite ready for that.”
Perian’s breath caught. He hadn’t been expecting such up-front talk about it. Not the serious part of it as opposed to the joking and not-so-joking invitations.
Molun patted his hand. “I thought you might be reassured by the fact that we were acting like it was business as usual, picking up people whoweren’tyou so you’d know we didn’t expect anything from you.” He tilted his head towards Arvus. “Other heads thought you’d think there wasn’t room for you, and it’s looking like he’s right, hmm?”
Perian blew out a breath. “I was just reminding myself that you didn’t have dinner with me every night before Brannal went away.”
“But that doesn’t mean we can’t have dinner with you every night for a week because Brannalisaway. Yes, we like having time when it’s just us, but we actually get a fair bit of that. We miss our friend, too, and this is the first time you’ve been separated from him. It’s hard for you right now, and we want to be here for you when you need us.”
“But aren’t I supposed to be figuring out how to stand on my own two feet? I thought that was why this was so hard?” Perian asked plaintively.
Arvus said calmly, “Yes, you should know how to be just you, but when support is available and you need it, there is no reason not to take it. How many people do you know who are on their own all the time?”
One. Perian knew one person who’d been like that not so long ago. Not that he’d been completely secluded on his estate, but it had been pretty close. He’d read books that had household staff who were practically like family, but that wasn’t what it had been like for him and his father, perhaps because the staff left to go to their own houses every evening. Or perhaps because his father had encouraged their solitude, had liked the staff to come just to complete the cleaning or the cooking and then to leave again. Theirhousekeeper had organized everything so they were rarely inconvenienced and didn’t see staff that often.
It had worked just fine when Perian’s father was alive. It had been the two of them against the world, and his father had always come up with things for them to do. He’d just… filled the house with life and meaning.
The last four years without him had been a lot emptier, and maybe that was why he was having so much trouble now, thinking that he should be able to be on his own but mind rebelling against it because he didn’t want to go back to that.
“I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Perian admitted quietly.
Arvus reached out carefully, letting Perian see his intention, then cupping Perian’s cheek. He sighed and leaned into the contact.
“You’re not alone, Perian. And we’re happy to spend time with you whether or not you want to play with us.”
Perian swallowed. “Maybe not play right now. Still not sure how I feel about that.” He leaned his head further into Arvus’s fingers. “But if you wanted to keep doing that, I would not object.”
Maybe he was a little touch-starved without Brannal.
“Oooh, me too, me too. What do I get to do?” Molun wanted to know.
This was what led to Perian being stretched out in front of the fire with Arvus’s fingers stroking his scalp and Molun massaging his feet and legs.
No, seriously, it sounded like a euphemism for something, but he was actually really good at massage, and Perian had been using his legs for plenty.
Another knock on the door heralded the arrival of Nisal, who took one look at them and raised their eyebrows to their hairline.
“Am I interrupting something?”
“They are really good at cuddles,” Perian told them. “You can come have some too if you want.”
Their expression softened. “You needed cuddles?”
He nodded. “I seem to need lots these days, but they say it’s all right.”
“Of course it’s all right,” Nisal said cheerfully. “I thought you might want to have dinner again, but it looks like they’ve got their hands full.”
