Denver:Gag me.
Shepard:No thanks. I’m not into asphyxiation.
Denver:ANYWAY.
Denver:With how boring I find life here, you can imagine that I’d like to travel anywhere. Like, literally anywhere has to be better than here.
Shepard:I dunno…I hear Missouri is pretty damn boring too.
Denver:Fine, anywhere but Montana and Missouri. No states that start with M.
Shepard:I think you can swing that.
Denver:What about you?
Shepard:Baseball. It’s my life. It’s all that matters. As long as I’m playing, I don’t care where I’m at.
Denver:Even Missouri?
Shepard:Okay, maybe not Missouri.
Shepard:Oh, and since I asked you, I only have the one older sibling, Zach. He’s a genius and I admire the shit out of him.
Shepard:Total nerd though.
Denver:Is he hot?
Shepard:Watch it… I think he’s about to get engaged, actually, to his college sweetheart. I don’t really like her, but don’t tell either of them I said that.
Denver:It’s too late. I’ve uploaded that to the internets.
Shepard:I don’t think you even know how to make a status update, so I’m pretty sure my secret’s safe with you.
Denver:You’re not wrong.
Shepard:I just still can’t believe I didn’t know you were a twin this entire time. I could have been working on getting a threesome set up. So many missed opportunities.
Denver:Omg
Denver:No. We are not doing this. I’m going to bed.
Denver:Good night, Captain.
Shepard:I hope you have sweet dreams. I know I will. Night, Bucky.
Denver:Hate. You.
* * *
Denver:Found your Halloween costume!
Denver:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Shepard:Holy shit. Hang on a sec.
Shepard:DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Denver:NO. WAY!
