Shepard:Clearly, you’re not a nerd. You’re a geek.
Denver:Hate. You.
Shepard:Lies!
Shepard:Now tell me.
Denver:She said…and I’m quoting this so don’t get mad at me for the name…“Wouldn’t it be, like, so cute if you and Slug started dating? Then you two would be together forever like AJ and me. OH MY GOSH, DENNY! We could have a DOUBLE WEDDING!”
Denver:Then there was a lot of squealing and gagging happening.
Shepard:I’m going to assume the gagging was you trying not to puke at the thought of us getting married?
Denver:No. It was Allie because I choked the shit out of her to get her to shut up.
Shepard:DAMN! You’re dark, Den.
Shepard:I like it.
Shepard:Maybe we SHOULD think about this double wedding thing…
Denver:Don’t think I won’t choke you too.
Shepard:Stop pretending to hate me.
Denver:Never.
* * *
Shepard:I think I’ve figured out this whole AJ being a dumbass wanting to propose to Allie in high school thing.
Denver:Yeah? Hit me with it.
Shepard:Convince him not to propose and to instead give her a promise ring.
Denver:Like promise to be virgins until marriage?
Denver:You know it’s way too late for that, right? Those two bang like rabbits.
Shepard:Trust me, I know.
Shepard:But no, that’s not a promise ring, that’s a purity ring. A promise ring is more like a…pre-engagement ring.
Shepard:A promise of “forever”.
Denver:Hmm…I think this could work.
Denver:I also just want to point out that some people DO have a FOREVER.
Shepard:A very, very small number of people, as at least 50% of all marriages end in divorce.
Denver:Your optimism is the highlight of my day.
Shepard:So you’re saying texting with me is the highlight of your day?
Denver:If that’s the way you need to spin it, sure. We’ll go with that.
Shepard:Oh, it’s spun all right.
