Denver:No, just curious about who in their right mind would actually date you.
Shepard:Har-har-har.
Shepard:I have a “girlfriend”.
Denver:Thanks. That really clears things up for me.
Shepard:There’s this girl who is a friend. Everyone assumes she’s my girlfriend. We just kind of…roll with it.
Denver:But…why?
Shepard:Well, I’m trying to focus on baseball, so I don’t need a girlfriend complicating my life. She’s gay and doesn’t need that complicating her last year of high school. It keeps a lot of people off our backs.
Denver:That’s sad. But sweet.
Denver:I’m sorry, but did you just out your friend to me? Because that’s not cool.
Shepard:She’s sitting right next to me and said it was okay if I told you since you live across the country. She’s deemed you “safe”.
Shepard:But if you tell ANYONE, I’ll kiss you.
Denver:Don’t you mean KILL?
Shepard:I said what I meant. You “hate” me, so kissing you would be a worthy punishment.
Denver:Interesting logic.
Shepard:I’m a smart man.
Denver:I wouldn’t go that far.
Shepard:Now that you know my secret, you gotta tell me one of yours.
Denver:I’ll pass, thanks.
Shepard:I bet you’re real fun at parties, Denver.
Denver:Um, what?
Shepard:Never mind. LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
Denver:I’m sorry…did you stalk my BookFace account? Are you making fun of me?
Shepard:Possibly.
Shepard:But also not. I find it a little cute that you don’t know internet lingo.
Shepard:And weird since you’re in high school and it’s how half the girls talk.
Denver:I’m not…allowed to have a social media account. My parents don’t know about it and I can only use it when I’m with Allie or at the comic shop. This phone I’m texting on? They don’t know that exists either. I bought a pre-paid with my babysitting money. There. That’s my secret.
Shepard:Please, please, please tell me you’re using a flip phone.
Denver:I am.
Denver:You’re laughing and I’m flipping you off right now.
Shepard:I kind of figured.
