Shepard:To answer your question, I know AJ from baseball camp. We go to the same one every summer, have since we were little. We’ve bonded over the years.
Denver:Then why haven’t I ever heard of you? I’ve known AJ for years too.
Shepard:Actually, you probably have.
Denver:I’d remember a stupid name like Shepard.
Shepard:Because you have SO much room to talk, DENVER.
Shepard:Seriously, really weird name you have there.
Denver:I’ll let my parents know you approve.
Denver:Still haven’t heard of you.
Shepard:He ever mention anyone named Slug?
Denver:YOU’RE Slug? THE Slug?
Shepard:Ah, so you HAVE heard of me before.
Denver:Heard of you? You’re all he talks about during baseball season. “Man, I wish Slug could have seen this…” “Dude, bro, Slug killed it in his game last night.”
Denver:His crush on you is annoying.
Shepard:What can I say? I’m a legend.
Denver:I believe I’ve rolled my eyes at the mention of you no less than 100 times.
Shepard:You mean you were rolling your eyes in ecstasy, right?
Denver:Are you trying to make me puke?
Shepard:Whatever you need to tell yourself.
Denver:Why are you still messaging me? GO AWAY, SLUG.
Shepard:Because I have something important to tell you.
Denver:I’m starting to believe you don’t.
Shepard:Because I’m being conversational? HOW DARE I USE MANNERS.
Denver:Out with it already!
Shepard:Fine. AJ is going
Denver:Going to?
Denver:What? The store? The mall? Hell? Cool story. I don’t care.
Denver:I lied. I do care. WHAT THE HELL, SLUG! You CANNOT just leave me in suspense like that!
Denver:Seriously. It’s been five minutes.
Denver:You’re totally getting off on this, aren’t you?
Denver:You’re just staring at your screen watching and waiting for another panicked message from me.
