Me: I think it would be better if we had the date. That way I can focus on something other than schoolwork for a bit.
Zach: Then it’s still on.
Zach: Oh, and Delia?
Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Me: *heart eyes* You are SO cute!
Zach: Thanks, I know.
Me: I was talking about Marshmallow.
Zach: Wounded again.
Me: TELL ME YOU DID NOT!
Zach: I DID NOT.
Zach: Also, what did I do?
Me: YOU SENT ME A FUCKING COUCH.
Zach: It’s there already? That was FAST.
Me: How? How in the world did you manage to do this so quickly?!
Zach: Money talks.
Zach: I know it’s not the exact couch you had before, but I tried to find something similar so you wouldn’t miss your old one. Did I do okay?
Me: Did you do okay… You bought me a fucking COUCH, Zach! Yes, you did fantastically.
Me: I assumed you were kidding about buying a new one. I can’t believe you right now.
Zach: It was only fair. My goat destroyed your furniture, so I had to replace it.
Me: But it’s a couch!
Zach: I think we’ve established that by now.
Me: I… Shit. THANK YOU. Zoe says thank you too. You have no idea how badly I want to kiss you right now.
Zach: I’ll allow it.
Me: Thursday—you’re getting alllll the action then.
Me: I’d even consider sexting with you right now. That’s how elated I am.
Zach: Shit yeah! Let’s do this.
Me: I said CONSIDER.
Zach: Devil woman!
Zach: Tomorrow night, I’ll woo you like you’ve never been wooed before.
Me: Please tell me you bought Marshmallow siblings.
