“I didn’t ditch you, Robbie.”
“You did. You ditched us for your dick.”
“I amnottouching my dick!”
I have a feeling that last statement was for Robbieandme.
“Not right now, but you’re going to. I live with you—Iknowthings about you.”
Another groan from Zach. “This is the most awkward moment of my life.”
“Does he not know I’m here?” I question. Zach doesn’t answer, and I’m assuming his buddy has no clue we’re on the phone.
“Robbie, please, I am begging you to leave already…”
“Why? Am I embarrassing you? Why are your cheeks so red?”
I can hear the ticking from here…
“Because I am on the phone with a woman, you moron!” Zach explodes like a bomb. “I have my Bluetooth in because we’re trying to watch a show.”
I can imagine him sitting there, red-faced and waving his arms around in desperation, and the image is enough for me to laugh hysterically.
“Knock it off!”
“Knock what off?” Robbie questions.
“Not you, her!”
I laugh harder and Zach growls in my ear.
“Are you watching the show, like, together?”
“Yes!”
“Aw, that’s the cutest, pussiest shit I have ever heard—ow! Stop throwing things!” Robbie yells. “Whatever. I’m outie. Don’t wait up, bitch.”
A door clicks closed in the background and an exasperated sigh slips through Zach’s lips. “Can we hit play yet?”
“Yeah, Zach, we can hit play, but can I ask you something first?”
“Shoot.”
“Are you really touching your dick?”
Zach mutters a “Dammit, Delia” before saying, “I’m hitting play.”
Iwakeup to Netflix judging me, asking if I’m still watchingHemlock Grove.
Oh crap! Zach!
I scramble to find my phone, wondering how long I’ve been passed out on the couch. It’s after one, which means I’ve been asleep for at least two hours now.
There’s a text waiting for me.
Zach: Did we get disconnected?
Another text, twenty minutes later.
