Me: That right arm appears to be a little bigger than the left. Hmm… *taps chin*
Zach: That’s my gaming mouse arm.
Me: And the nerd hits keep on coming.
Zach: How about this…you show me yours, I’ll show you mine.
Me: My what?
Zach: I don’t know. Anything.
Zach: Come on, Delia. Let’s get textual.
Me: Did you just…
Me: I can’t right now. CANNOT EVEN.
Zach: You love that I supply you with endless witty banter and say stupid shit. Come on, admit it—you like it.
Me: I do not!
Me: *whispers* I really do.
Zach: BUSTED!
Zach: Now, you going to send a pic or what?
Me: No faces, right?
Zach: No, because we’re not ruining the surprise.
Me: Fine. One moment.
Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Zach: YOUR FEET?!
Me: Is that not what you wanted? Oh, my bad. I assumed that was what one did while sexting.
Zach: Some people are super into it, and whatever, that’s their thing, but no. GOOD LORD, NO.
Zach: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Me: Omg. Who painted your toenails?!
Zach: My roommate has a son who is super into nail polish right now, so I let him paint my toes for me.
Me: I have tears in my eyes. You’re amazing.
Me: Does the kiddo spend a lot of time there?
Zach: Every other weekend. He’s conked out in my bed with Marshmallow right now. They’re best friends.
Zach: How did we go from talking about sexting to talking about kids? I feel ripped off.
Me: It was the feet.
Zach: Be honest…did you save THAT pic for the spank bank?
