Zach: How about…a brownie cake with ice cream.
Me: I think I just came.
Zach: I am known for my skills.
Me: Stop it. I’m in the middle of the damn grocery store. Save that talk for later. ;-)
Zach: Wait…really?
Me: OMG no. Pervert.
Zach: YOU STARTED IT.
Me: I need you to pick between CAKE, BROWNIES, and ICE CREAM.
Zach: Umm…brownies. With chocolate and vanilla ice cream on top. Chocolate sauce drizzled over it. And sprinkles.
Me: I hate you.
Me: DOWNLOAD ATTACHMENT
Me: I put it all in my cart.
Me: It will be your fault when I fall into a sugar coma.
Zach: You can thank me later.
Me: You promise to come to my funeral?
Zach: And recount all the marvelous memories we’ve had together, including where I gently pushed you to feast upon magical desserts. I’ll lean down to your casket and whisper, “You’re welcome.”
Me: BRB, dying.
Me: Entertain me, squire!
Me: Did I say that right?
Zach: Good enough for me.
Zach: Would you rather have 1,000 puppies who barked constantly or one who hated you and never let you pet it?
Me: What in the actual hell is wrong with you?!
Zach: You HAVE to pick. It’s the only rule of Would You Rather.
Me: I asked you to entertain me, not torture me.
Zach: Tick tock.
Me: FINE. One puppy who hated me. Even though it’s the saddest thing ever, I know I couldn’t stand the barking of a thousand adorable, fluffy puppies.
Zach: I think that would be a wise decision.
Me: More entertainment, stat. I love my roommate to death but she just put on the dumbest show ever.
Zach: Which show?
Me: Something about boys in trailer parks and propane.
