Page 112 of Let's Get Textual


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“Their milkshakes make my—”

Rose raises a brow at her son. “Go on, Zach. What do they do?”

“I completely forgot what I was going to say.”

“Uh huh,” she says, shaking her head and heading back out to the dining room to grab more plates.

Zach turns to me. “They make my dick hard.”

“Heard that!” Rose calls.

Zach’s eyes go wide and he hangs his head, mortified. I chuckle at his defeat.

“Don’t laugh at that, Delia.”

“But it’s hilarious.”

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Oh, please. I bet she picked up many of your stiff socks throughout your teen years. She knows you get boners, Zach.”

“She does!” Rose says through the door. She pushes it open and I go to her, helping grab one of the heavier dishes. “I like this one, Zach. She keeps it real.”

“I’ll probably keep her around.”

“Probably?”

“Maybe?”

“Zachary…”

“Yes, yes. I’ll keep her around.”

“I think I should tell you that you’re the only person he’s ever allowed to call him that. He used to come home from school so angry because his teachers would insist his name wasn’t just Zach. I had to write a note and everything. He’salwayshated anything other than Zach,” Rose tells me.

I eye my boyfriend. “Whydoyou let me call you Zachary?”

“Because you have a really great ass.”

Rose laughs. “Yep, just like his dad.”

“So you’re tellingme this will be thebestmilkshake I’ve ever had? Is there a lady boner in my future?”

Zach shakes his head. “Don’t say lady boner. It’s weird.”

“Clit-on?”

“No. No, that iswayworse.”

“Lady stiffy?”

“Keep trying.”

“Moist.”

He shudders. “Aaand you’re officially the worst person ever.”

“Here are your Mega Shakes. Your fries are coming right up.”