“Shhh,” I purred, spidering myself onto his thighs. “Just hold me.”
I curled up in his lap, small and defenceless, but comfortable and confident, like a cat might. I cuddled the crown of my head under his jaw and teased his Adam’s apple with the very tip of my tongue, tracing his throat from the hollow of his collar bones to the curve of his chin.
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple shifting against the slide of my tongue. Then I nuzzled him.
I wasn’t going to apologize. I had nothing to apologize for. I wasn’t the one that pulled away. But in order for us to move past this ridiculous angst, I needed to relent and offer Severen grace.
My fingers drifted to the buttons on the shirt. “I’ve been with Crux,” I said as the buttons came undone. “And I’ve been with Halo. And I want to be with you, if you’ll finally have me. There’s something I need you to know.” One by one the buttons came apart and the shirt fell open.
I was exposed.
“Even though I’ve made love to them, I couldn’t help but hide my scars. I couldn’t stand for them to see me.”
I sat there, on Severen’s lap, breathing, the scar a pink fissure between my pert breasts, also allowed to breathe. I took Severen’s hand, and brought it close to my chest, just near enough that his ring finger drifted down the rippled, lacy surface of my scar.
“I know what I asked you in the hospital was difficult. I didn’t realize how much it hurt you. In my mind, you’re strong enough to handle anything. And you do what needs to be done, always.”
Peering up at my pack lead, my alpha, I placed my hands on his chest. “But you can’t tell me that life would still be worth living if we couldn’t be together like this.”
Severen inhaled and it felt like he consumed all the air in the room, like he needed every little wisp of it just to stay upright, otherwise he’d collapse.
He crushed me to his body and wrapped his arms around me tight. Such possessive, commanding love set me purring like an expensive sportscar.
“I’m sorry,” Severen gasped. “I’m so sorry. I hated the man I was becoming but I couldn’t stop myself.”
“It’s not too late to change things,” I whispered, the tips of my fingers stroking the nape of his neck to calm him.
“I don’t want to lose you,” he confessed. “Not to your heart. And not to him.”
“The only way you’ll ever lose me is if you hold too tight.” My lips brushed the shell of his ear as I spoke. “So please, Severen, don’t break me.”
He turned his face towards mine and touched my lips with his own. Feeling his kiss was like a splash of water after a heat wave. His coffee and wine scent filled my senses. He tore his shirt off and I took that as permission to escalate things. My hands worked at his jeans zipper, my slick darkening the thighs of his already dark denim.
He held me bridal style, one arm cradling my back and my knees draped over the other. I felt small and vulnerable like this, something skittish and untamed, to be controlled and domesticated. Mastered.
Severen lifted me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck. He lowered me down and I was all at once filled with him. I gasped as he sank into me, my body singing with how much it had longed for his touch. He just held me, his bride with no threshold, and pumped into me over and over, lifting and lowering me like I was no more than a bundle of feathers.
I bit his lip, I tugged, I whimpered wordlessly and panted and squeaked. My breasts bounced with each thrust, each loweringof my small body on his sizable cock. I let go of his neck and tucked my arms to my chest, coquettishly teasing my lips with the pad of my thumb, conveying innocence and submissiveness, a desire to be used. I wanted to be the omega that my alpha wanted.
Severen curled over me, tightening his embrace so that I was all wrapped up in him, my knees squishing into my breasts, as he took me with long, powerful strokes, divining the slick out of me and onto his faithful office chair.
“Do whatever you want to me,” I said from the cavern of his arms. “I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. I always will be.”
Because that was what it meant to be an omega, to bring clarity and focus to their alpha. To keep them sane in an insane world, to be that thing they can nurture and care for and protect.
And to be a little troublemaker sometimes.
“Knot,” I panted.
“I don’t think you’re ready–” Severen began.
“Knot,” I said again, then kissed him. Reaching down between my legs, I grabbed Severen by the base, behind his swelling knot. He tensed in pleasure-pain as I rocked my hips and dropped onto him, taking his knot in me and refusing to let go.
No one could fill me like he could. All my mates satisfied me, but in different ways. Severen, when he was inside me and knotted up, locked in, it was like there was no space between us left for even shadows. He pressed up against every bit of me, like we were one body with nothing between us that kept us separate and individual. I knew from the feeling of his aura that he felt it too.
“Wait,” I gasped. “Don’t move.” I met his gaze. “Just feel me for a moment. Stay with me. Right here.” I took a breath, inhaling his scent. I meditated on every slight sensation, and committed it to memory. There were times that I feared, we both feared, that we’d never be like this again and I needed it to beimmortalized and eternal in my mind. I carved a tiny piece of now off from reality, and preserved it in my soul.
Chapter 39
