“I don’t like this, Grace,” he says. “I don’t like that Ineedyou to break this curse. I don’t like needing anyone, and I hate that it’s you. I hate that you’re nice and sweet and pretty, and that I’m crumbling you bit by bit, day by day. Ihateit.
“But I do need you,” he whispers. “I need you, and I want you, and it fucks with my head. I wasn’t mocking you for getting turned on. Ilikedit. I wanted you to invite me to do exactly as I offered.”
I try to swallow. It doesn’t work. My throat is too dry. I try to remember the last time I had water, if only to keep myself from looking at his lips.
Wasn’t I wondering what it would be like? Would it be so terrible to know?
“But I can’t touch you,” he whispers. He releases my face and steps back. “Because I need you, and you…you need to focus.”
He walks to the far wall, only pausing once he’s nearly reached the door. He holds an open palm toward me in invitation.
“Let’s call it a day,” he says finally. Then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “For the record, I am not going to kill you, Grace. If we work together, we’ll break the curse. After that, I’ll help you go wherever you want. Back to the human world. Over to the witches. Whatever you want.”
I stand frozen, and he gestures again.
“Come,” he says, clearing his throat. He runs a hand through his hair, looking at the exit instead of me. “We’ll pretend it never happened.”
Maybe he will, but something tells me I won’t be able to.Every time we do this stupid exercise, I’ll be thinking about it. About him.
It’s going better.Three days after getting turned on by Sebastian and him freakingsmellingit, our training is going better. I don’t know if I believe his vow not to kill me. Actually, scratch that, Idefinitelydon’t believe his vow. I think he’ll let me live as long as it’s convenient. If it’s anything more than a slight nuisance, I assume the promise won’t stand.
With these people, all it takes is a split second of anger, of impulse, and someone is dead.
“One more time?” Cora asks.
She’s back at her place against the wall, scrutinizing my every move. We’ve done this for over an hour, and though I’m covered in sweat and beyond exhausted, I’m not doing a terrible job. I can only keep Sebastian down for two seconds. Five seconds on the good rounds. It’s probably nothing worth bragging about, but I’m grinning anyway.
It’s not only progress, but consistent progress. Any other time I’ve showcased magic, it’s been erratic, impossible to control. Those times didn’t feel earned, as if I hadn’t been involved at all. This is different. I feel the magic zipping beneath my skin, like tiny electrodes shocking my muscles.
“Hello?” Cora calls. She shoves from the wall, face already twisted in annoyance. “Should we do one more, Master?”
I look at Sebastian, surprised to find him watching me. He raises an expectant eyebrow, as if to say,what do you think?
My vision blurs and I have to blink to keep from doing something mortifying like cry. I manage a nod.
“One more,” Sebastian confirms. He doesn’t look back at Cora as he lowers to his knees. “We’ll make it a good one.”
“Easy for you to say.” I don’t fight the teasing smile as I get back into position. Arms raised, breath steady. “I’m doing all the work.”
“Just think about how much you hate me,” he whispers.
“I always am,” I say. It’s ridiculous how my heart pulses, how my entire body warms at the inside joke.
Do not get turned on, Grace. Don’t even think about it.
I breathe deeply and close my eyes. It’s easier to focus when I’m not looking at him. With my eyes closed, this moment is mine alone. Mine and the magic sparking beneath my skin.
“One,” Cora counts. It’s what she does every time, and part of me feels like this would be easier if she’d just stop talking. Or better yet, leave. “Two. Three!”
I cast. At least, that’s what Cora would call it. I’m not entirely sure how I know I’m doing it. Even once I open my eyes, it doesn’tlooklike anything is happening. It’s not nearly as epic as it is in movies. There’s no colorful mist in the air, and there’s definitely nothing like what I saw inHarry Potter. Nothing has changed at all, except Sebastian.
I can see the bewilderment on his face, the way his eyebrows tighten as he attempts to stand. Even the muscles beneath his shirt shift as he tries to move. I don’t know how long I hold him, only that I feel ready to pass out by the time I lose my grasp.
The buzz of magic evaporates from my fingers, popping like an overfilled balloon. The moment it disappears, I collapse forward, catching my hands on my knees. I takedeep, ugly breaths, blinking hard to keep the room from spinning. It takes longer than usual for my body to stabilize.
“Sorry,” I finally gasp. I feel like I’m going to puke. My stomach roils as I force myself to stand. “I think I’m tired.”
When I look up, both Sebastian and Cora stand before me. She’s whispering something in his ear, and he’s grinning at me.