“Am I…” I trail off. Then, “Did you kill me?”
Sebastian flinches.
“It was the only way,” he says, closing his eyes. “That vile woman was guarding you. Cora wasn’t going to have another chance to break the ward. And if daybreak came, I feared…”
He trails off, swallowing.
He feared they wouldn’t be able to save me. He feared they’d kill me.
But if he killed me…
“What about the curse?” I whisper. “If you killed me, if I’m a vampire, can it still be broken?”
“No,” he says. His eyes are heavy on me, his attention as strong as physical touch. “You’re no longer a witch, Grace. No longeralive. Your witch blood doesn’t exist.”
“No,” I say.
My heart should race, but it doesn’t. I don’t feel anything, and it’s not until now that I realize howaliveI used to be. All the pieces of me I never noticed, simply because they were always there. I don’t feel the need to breathe or blink or go to the bathroom. There is only ravenous hunger in my gut, not for food, but forblood.
Without permission, my attention flickers back to Sebastian’s throat.
“You’re hungry,” he says. He takes my hands, and for the first time, his touch isn’t cold.
Or maybe rather, mine is not warm.
“What do you mean ‘no’,” I say, pulling out of his touch. “Just like that? It’s over?”
He stares at me with an unreadable expression. I wait aslong as I can, but he can’t just stand there, looking at me. As if what he’s done is nothing of significance.
“Sebastian—”
“It’s done, Grace,” he says. This time, his hands are on my face, pulling me so close our foreheads touch. I close my eyes, leaning into him despite myself.
“So you’ll all be trapped, forever, because of me,” I whisper. If I were still human, I’d be crying. I don’t know if vampirescancry.
Oh my god. I’m a vampire.
Sebastian is quiet for a long moment. He strokes the sides of my face, his eyes closed as he touches me. If he’s feeling any of the turmoil I am, he doesn’t show it.
“You know,” he begins, voice soft. “When I discovered you were gone, I had something of an epiphany.”
“Yeah?” I ask. My voice is as quiet as his. I’m scared to break this moment, scared to be pulled out of his touch and forced to face this new reality.
Right now, I can pretend things are normal. That he is touching me simply because he wants to, and not because he’s trying to hold me together.
“I realized, if I had to choose between sunlight oryourlight, I’d choose yours, Grace,” he says. “Every single time.”
I study him, even as his eyes remain closed. Despite everything he’s just lost, he looks at peace, maybe for the first time since I’ve known him.
“I’m in love with you, Grace Renolds,” he says. He pulls back to look at me. His hands are still on me, trailing down my throat, over my sides. His green eyes open, impossibly bright. “Iloveyou, and that’s something I didn’t know was possible.”
I kiss him then, with his blood in my mouth and his hands touching every inch of exposed skin. The kiss isviolent, messy, and before long, we’re back in his bed, clothes discarded on the floor.
He kisses down my throat, and I arch into him, wrapping my legs around his back. He notches at my entrance, but I stop him, hand pressed to his chest.
“Do I smell different?” I ask.
It’s a stupid question, and probably the last thing that should be on my mind. But I am suddenly, inexplicably horrified at the thought. Sebastiancravedthe way I smelled. It fucked with his head, made him desperate for me. If I’m a vampire, that has to be gone.
