Garrick – Carter, just tell her how you feel when you come home.
Talia – What do you mean? Because last time I checked, and that wasn’t too long ago, she didn’t seem amenable.
Garrick – Showed her something.
Ethan – Oh dear lord.
Mom – What?
Dad – What?
Alec – Finally. I’m not the last one to know things.
Me – You showed her that video. Didn’t you?
Garrick – How’d you know?
Me – Cause I don’t have a text or a voicemail chewing my ass out.
Me – And I know about that video because one night, when you were drunk, you sent it to me by mistake.
Me – Along with a picture of some woman without a top on.
Silence.
Mom – Now I get it.
Dad – Saw that the first time she tripped and skimmed her knee. Boy, you looked panicked.
Ethan – Well, shit. Now I feel like a bag of dicks for getting onto you about never calling her darlin’ like every southerner I know.
Talia – What are y’all talking about?
Me – Thanks, Garrick.
Garrick – Got your back. Always.
Ethan – Have Garrick show you the video, Tal.
Me – Speaking of that, remember the shit Billy pulled a few months back?
Garrick – Yeah.
Ehtan – Oh yeah.
Dad – Now, I want in on this.
Me – I get back, after I straighten things out with Harlee, make her mine, we’ve got some shit to talk to Billy about.
Talia – This about what he said about Harlee in the ninth grade?
Mom – What did that little piss ant say about Harlee?
Me – Told the whole school he went all the way with her.
Talia – Told the whole school he went all the way to third base with her and that he won the five-hundred-dollar bet.
Me – What?
