Like a good soldier, he listened and pried his eyes open. They rolled in his sockets for a moment, and his lids fluttered, but he focused on me. That was the important thing.
“You arenotgoing to die. You’re getting the fuck out of here, all right?”
“I don’t know, man,” he whispered through his tears. “I-I think … I think I might be d-dying.”
“No, you’re not!” I shouted through my own desperation for him to live. “You’re not dying. You’regonna go home, Sid. You are. You’re gonna go home, and you’re gonna ask Grace out on a real, honest-to-God date.”
“W-what?” he croaked around a sob, his eyes clouding with confusion.
“You said you love her, right?”
He nodded, the movement unsteady. “Y-yeah. I-I-I-I do. I f-f-fuckin’ do.”
“Then that’s what you’re gonna do. You’re getting the fuck out of here, you’re gonna go home, and you’re gonna do exactly what I was never able to do. You’re not fucking dying here, and you’re gonna ask her out. And that’s a fucking order. You got it, Corporal?”
Sid nodded again, his breathing less erratic, as if determination had willed his lungs to steady. “Y-yes.”
“Yes what?” I asked, lighting a fire under his ass as much as my own.
He gritted his teeth, furrowed his brow, and mustered as strong of a, “Yes, Sergeant,” as he could.
“All right,” I said, giving his cheek another pat before sitting back on my heels and surveying the area. “So, now, we just gotta—"
BOOM!
A blinding pain pierced through my skull as I fell back away from Sid, landing on my side with athud. I clapped my hands over my ears, praying the ringing would stop as I turned my head, only to find that the truck I’d ridden in was now on its side, a cloud of dust billowing around it.
Another IED.
They’re everywhere.
Are we surrounded?
Keeping low, with the ringing in my ears persisting, I rolled to my stomach and crawled toward the truck pinning Sid to the ground. I reached inside, searching for a walkie to call base for help, and when I found one, I provided my name and location and begged whoever was listening for help … but I didn’t get any response. Nobody said a damn thing.
In fact, apart from the ringing that was only starting to subside, I heard absolutely nothing at all.
I shouted the information again, praying someone was on the other end. When I glanced at Sid, I saw his lips moving. He was talking … no, he wasyelling. Yelling atme. His eyes were wide and worried, maybe even a little confused, as spittle flew from his mouth, his neck strained and corded as he shouted. God, he looked soscared. And the longer I stared at him and the panic in his eyes, the more I began to feel it too.
Something was wrong. Not just with him, but withme.
And still, I heard … nothing.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
That second blast had not only ruptured both of my eardrums, but it had caused such severe damage to my inner ears and auditory nerve that the Army doctors diagnosed me with a severe hearing impairment.
Deaf.
I was fuckingdeaf.
They called it sensorineural hearing loss. They said it was permanent, but they also said that it was fine, it was common, and that I could still lead a great, full, andwonderfullife with the help of hearing aids or cochlear implants.
They called me a hero.
They said that what I had done to save my men was commendable, and they awarded me with the Medal of Honor and Purple Heart for what had happened on that dusty road in Afghanistan.
But I was no goddamn hero.
