“You’reso gross,” she groaned, snatching her phone off the coffeetableand stomping toward the hallway.
“Goodnight, Hannah. Love you.”
Icaught the faintest hint of a smile as she glanced over her shoulder beforedisappearing down the hall, and said, “Love you, too, Daddy.”
Goosegrabbed the remote to turn the movie off, and I rubbed my sweaty palms againstmy thighs. Brendan and I hadn’t been together in well over a month, and Ihadn’t heard a peep from him since. There was nothing to stop me from doingwhatever I wanted with Goose, and I had known for weeks exactly where this wasgoing. Still, that acknowledgement didn’t stop the newness of this situationfrom being scary, and Lord, I liked him so much, and somehow, that made it somuch scarier.
“Youokay?”
Ilooked to his concerned expression and smiled. “Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Youdon’t look fine,” he commented. “Youkindalook likeyou’regonnapuke.”
Ilaughed, shaking my head. “Definitely notgonnapuke.”
“Well,thank God for that.”
Pullingin a deep breath, I said, “I think I’m just a little freaked out.”
Hisbig palm covered my knee, as he said, “Tell me why.”
“Because…” I thought of every cliché I could say, knowing they were cliché for areason. And even though I didn’t want to sound like another pathetic heroinewith a repertoire of practiced lines, I still said, “Because I don’t want toscrew this up.”
“Whydo you think anything’sgonnabe screwed up?”
“Idon’t know,” I replied,sighingand shrugging. “Maybebecause everything was screwed up with Brendan.”
“Yeah,and my past two relationships were failures, too,” he said. “But I only needone to work out in the end.”
“Andwhat if this doesn’t?”
Goosepressed his lips together, considering the question, before replying, “I don’tknow for sure that it will, but I have a pretty good feeling.”
“Hm,”I muttered with a nod.
Then,he settled in closer beside me, wrapping his arm back around my shoulders andpulling me into him once again. I couldn’t help smiling and settling in,lifting mylegand wrapping it around his thigh, whilemy arm hugged his waist. The fear kept whispering every little thing that couldgo wrong into my ear, but that alone couldn’t stop this from feeling so naturaland right, and so unlike anything I’d experienced before.
“Howabout this,” he said, pressing his cheek to the top of my head. “What if youreally were writing the story of a girl named Kenny and a guy named Goose? Howwould you want it to end?”
Takinga deep breath, I considered the question, then replied, “I think it’d have tobe one of those series that just goes on forever, because I don’t think I’dhave the heart to end it.”
Henodded, tightening his hold on my shoulder, and said, “Well, I guess it’s up tous to make sure this goes on forever, then.”
Swallowingat the lump growing in my throat, I held on tighter to his waist, and replied,“I guess so.”
“But,” he went on, squeezing my shoulder in his large, warmhand, “since this isgonnago on forever—”
“Hopefully,”I interjected playfully, poking at his side.
“Right.Hopefully,” he corrected, grinning. “We can take our time, youknow?So, if youwannaease intothis, like we’ve beendoin’ this whole time, then …I’m cool with that, too.”
“Really?”I asked, turning to look at him disbelievingly.
Noddingwith assurance, he replied, “You said you don’twannascrew this up, and neither do I. So, if that means youwannacall it a night and get home to your cat, then I’m cool with that.”
Ididn’t want to call it a night. What I wanted was to stay there with him,making out until the sun came up, to remind myself of what it was like to bewith a man whotruly wantedto be with me. But therewas also the fear of rushing in too quickly, of engaging in sexual activities,even after my doctor had said it would be fine. So, with a reluctant nod, Itold him I’d give him a raincheck, and with an adoring smile, he promised touse it whenever I was ready.
Ihoped to be ready soon.
