Ishrugged and smoothed a hand over my messy ponytail, then said, “Yeah, butshe’s not the doctor.”
Goosenodded while grunting an agreeable sound, and then, we waited for an anxiousfew minutes before the doctor finally came into the room.
“It’snice to meet you, Kendall,” he said, wearing a bright smile anda very obvioushairpiece.
Hethen asked me a slew of questions about my situation and the incident with myheart rate. He nodded as I spoke and reiteratedeverythingI had told my gynecologist just days before. From the corner of my eye, Iwatched the expression on Goose’s face. His furrowed brow, the tight clench ofhis jaw. There was also a type of concern in his eyes that felt like somethingakin to territorial, and I tried not to dwell too much on how good that felt,to know that someone, anyone, wanted me to be okay. Even if that someone wasn’tthe man I was in a relationship with.
“So,first of all, there’s a very good chance thateverything is just fine. But just to be sure, here’s what we’regonnado,” the doctor said, brushing the floppy hair fromhis eyes before folding his hands in his lap. “You’re going to head down thehall and go for an echocardiogram. And then, I want you to wear a Holstermonitor for twenty-four hours.”
“Oh,that sounds like fun,” I mumbled sardonically, before worrying my bottom lipbetween my teeth.
“You’regoing to be just fine,” he assured me.
Then,as he leaned forward to pat my knee, his hair slid down his forehead a little,and I was so grateful to have something to giggle about as Goose and I headeddown the hallway to the dark ultrasound room.
“Pleasepromise me that, if we know each other in like, fifty years, you won’t let medo that to myself,” he muttered beneath his breath.
“Deal,”I giggled and shook his hand, before entering the room.
Goosewaited outside, while I completely undressed the upper half of my body and laidon a padded table. The technician, a sweet lady, apologetically pressed a probeto my chest and throat, taking pictures as she went, and I assured her that Ididn’t mind.
“Thisis the most action I’ve gotten in months,” I joked, and she laughed in a quietway that said she didn’t know if I was serious or not.
Then,when the test was concluded, we headed to another part of the building for meto have the Holster monitor attached. By the time we left the cardiologypractice, it was two hours later, and I was sporting a new necklace beneath myshirt, with various wires hanging from it. We walked side by side for a fewminutes, not saying anything and just allowing the events of the afternoon toabsorb, when finally, he spoke.
“Youokay?”
Inodded slowly. “Yeah, I’m fine. I think.”
“I'mreally happy you asked me to come.”
Snorting,I rolled my eyes to the skyscrapers. “Oh, yeah. It was a blast.” Goose grinnedand sighed, looking up to a grey November sky, as I continued, “I mean, really,I can’t think of a better way I’d like to spend an afternoon.”
Chuckling,he shook his head. “No, I just mean, it's nice that you're comfortable enoughwith me to want me there. I haven’t had that with a lot of people, so … it’sjust nice.”
“Oh,”I replied quietly, looking at my hands as I nodded. “Well, thank you. Forcoming, I mean. I would've been shitting myself if I had been alone.”
“Youshouldn'thaveto be alone.”
Ididn't respond, not wanting to open that can of worms, because I knew it wouldonly make me upset. And I knew he was right. But I also knew there was nothingI could do about it. More than that, I didn't want him to believe that I was ina relationship with a horrible man, because while Brendan was brash andconsumed by his own business, he wasn’thorrible. I didn't want Goose tothink Brendan didn't support me or this pregnancy at all, because it just wasn'ttrue. Not entirely. And I didn't know why I cared so much about what hethought, but I did. I really did, and maybe that was more horrible than myboyfriend being too busy to attend a doctor's appointment.
“Sorry,”Goose finally said, a few moments later.
“Forwhat?”
“Idon't know. I just felt like I needed to say it.”
Ilaughed, shaking myheadand sending all of thosethoughts away. “Nothing to apologize for.”
“Okay,”he replied with a sigh. “But listen, I don't want you to hesitate to ask if youneed someone there. Got it? I can always be there.”
“No,”I protested, shaking my head. “I don’t want you to let my crap get in themiddle of whatever you’re doing. This was …” I shrugged, blowing out a heavybreath. “I was just really scared. But I won’t make a habit of it. My parentscan come, or—”
“Stop,”he said gently, bumping his arm against mine. “I’m serious, Kenny. None ofmycrap is too important to keep me from being there when you need someone.”
Somethingin the sentiment resounded with me and I tucked it away, knowing I'd use itsome day in one of my stories. The man was full of one-liners like that, andwhat was even better, was that he was always sincere in saying them. He meantevery word and I held each one of them close, letting them warm my skin andheart, while knowing that would have to be enough, but knowing it never wouldbe.
Chapter Twelve
