Hesmiled with satisfaction, as he dumped the pitcher into the sink. “It'sbasically a mint pina colada, minus the rum. I thought the mint might be goodfor your stomach.”
Ipaused on my way back to the straw and swallowed at my thickening throat. Tearspricked the backs of my eyes and burned my nose, so I sat up straight, turnedmy gaze to the beams running parallel on the ceiling.
“Shit,”I sniffed, using my hands to wave away the moisture in my eyes. “I hatecrying.”
Hisforehead crumpled with concern. “What the hell? Don't cry! If you don't likeit, I—”
“No!”I shook my head, as one lone tear escaped to race down my cheek. “No, it's justthat, my boyfriend and I got into a fight today, and I really needed this, Ithink. Either that or my hormones are goingfreakin'crazy.”
Goosesmiled and pulled a napkin out from under the bar. Passing it to me, he saidwith a wink, “Let's go with the hormones thing.”
Ourconversation dwindled and the usual sound of Lynyrd Skynyrd filled the dead airas Goose cleaned up and I pulled my laptop out, thinking of how nice this was.Over the past few weeks, we'd fallen into a comfortable friendship that neverrequired continuous conversation.
Ipulled up the document for my newest story and slipped my headphones on to openthe door to my creativity. The bar and Lynyrd disappeared and all that remainedwas the vision of a successful woman and her first encounter with the eventuallove of her life. A smile spread across my face at the familiar jitters thatcoursed through my arms and hands, all the way down to my fingertips. Theexcitement of these sweet moments and the feeling of falling in love, had allcome back with the start of a new story. And as I wrote about her first gazeinto his eyes, I thought,I have the best job, Brendan, and I don't care ifyou think it's stupid.
Halfa chapter in and I felt a firm tap on my shoulder. Emerging from the world ofmy characters always left me feeling off and a little shaken, so I abruptlypulled my headphones off to peer at Goose with a strong, unintentional feelingof annoyance. He just smiled apologetically, now used to my process, andpointed at the bar beside me. I looked down to find a basket of wings.
“Justwanted to make sure you and the little guy are fed,” he said, before walkingback down the bar.
“Wait.”
Heturned back and asked, “Yeah?”
“Littleguy, huh?”
Hischeekspinkedbeneath the moody lighting and hisshoulders lifted. “Just a feeling I have.”
Inodded contemplatively. I wouldn't say it yet, not out loud, but I had asimilar feeling. I also hoped it was a boy. To be blunt, I didn't care to havea daughter. I could never see myself having one, but out of fear of beingdisappointed, I was trying to convince myself that it was in fact a girl. Justto keep from being surprised or disappointed.
“Whatdoes your boyfriend think?”
Ishrugged, laying my headphones on the bar before digging into the wings. “Ihave no idea. We haven't really talked much about it.”
Gooseslowly nodded as he turned on the faucet to wash a pitcher. “But he's cool withhaving a baby now, right?”
Ibit into a juicy wing and fought the urge to groan. The wings at Goose's barwere nothing short of orgasmic and I was convinced he could bottle the sauceand make a killing.
“Yeah,”I told him. “I mean, we're doing fine, I guess. He's been great with me beingsick.”
“Butthat's just youbeingsick,” he countered, scrubbingthe pitcher and rinsing it off. “How is he about the baby? Is he excited?”
Ihad to think about the question, because really, I wasn't sure. Brendan and Inever talked much about feelings in general. Hell, I couldn't remember the lasttime either of us had said “I love you.” It never seemed important. I mean, whypush a point that's already been made a thousand times? But now, I wondered howhe felt about being a father. Was he looking forward to it or was he simplygoing along for the ride out of fear of his child not knowing him?
“Idon't really know,” I answered honestly. “But, I mean, I'm not super excitedabout some stuff either.”
Witha rag, he dried the pitcher as he nodded. “Yeah, I get that. There's a lot ofshit that comes along withhavin’ a baby. I wasn'ttoo excited either and that's why I was such a dick at first. But the more Ithought about it, like how one day there would be this little person in theworld who looked like me, the more excited I felt. Like, that was my chance tochange and do something good, you know? That excited the hell out of me.”
Ismiled, propping my chin in my palm. “I forget you have a kid.”
Henodded, unable to hide the affection in his grin as he reached to the back walland took a framed picture down. “She lives with her mom, so I only get herevery other weekend, unless it's a holiday.”
Hehanded me the picture and said, “That's Hannah.”
Ateenaged girl with reddish-blonde hair looked up at me. Her smile contained thesame contagious warmth as her father's, and when I handed the picture back, Isaid, “She really does look just like you.”
Henodded with pride. “Everybody says that. But I see her mom in her personalityand thank Christ for that.”
“Yourpersonality doesn't seem that bad.”
