Dad'sdisappointment was clearly evident as his smile transformed into a frown. “Oh.Well, that's okay. Some other time, right?”
Inodded erratically. “Y-Yeah, Daddy, sure.”
Histone shifted then, as he stared at me. His eyes narrowed suspiciously and Iknew, I just knew, that he suspected something. He had to. You don't witnessyour daughter's death, just moments after she snorted a couple of lines, andnot have a single clue.
“Andrea,”he began, his tone full of caution, “are you okay? You don't look good. ShouldI—”
“No,”I interjected roughly, shaking my head. “I'm fine, I'm okay. I'm just--”
“Areyou pregnant?”
Igawked at my father, shocked, and realized I wished that's all it was.
“No,”I answered, shaking my head. “Vinnie and I ... we had some sushi last night andI don't think it's sitting well,” I lied.
Henodded with understanding. “That'll do it. Okay, well, I'll let you finish upin here. But, honey pie,” his worried gaze dropping to my trembling hands, “ifthere's ever anything you need, if you ever need help ... We're always here,okay? I'm always here.”
Therewere still traces of that innocent little girl, trapped somewhere beneath thesins I'd committed over the past several months, and she cried. She screamedout now, urging my legs to run toward him, pleading to beg him for salvation.But I remained still while the anxious high ate away at me, corroding my bloodand guts, as my stupid, numb lips said, “Thanks, Daddy. But I'm fine. Really.Everything's fine.”
CHAPTERTHIRTY-THREE
VINNIE
“What the hell do you callthis?”
Iglanced up from the pie I was making to look in Jenna's direction. “What?”
Shethrust her hands toward a different pizza, fresh out of the oven. “Look atthis!”
“I'mlookin'.”
Myolder sister gawked at me before aiming pinched fingers at the pie, to peel aused cigarette butt out of the mess of cheese and sauce. I grimaced, notknowing how it got there or when, and then flinched when she threw it at myshoulder.
“Idon't know—”
“Youdon't know a lot, do you?” she accused, her face red with anger.
“I'msorry. I've been so—”
“Distracted,tired, busy,” she rattled off. “Yeah, I know. We both do.” She looked over hershoulder at Moe, standing at the register. “And we're sick of the excuses,Vinnie. We're done.”
Thefury was quick to strike as I narrowed my eyes. “Are youfiringme?”
“No,”she groaned, closing her eyes and planting her hands on her hips. “But I'msendin' you home today. You need a break, you need to ... I dunno, reassess andthink, and I can't have you poisoning customers.”
Ididn't want to go home. Andy wouldn't be there yet and all I'd have to keep mecompany, would be the ghost of my father, lurking around every corner and door.That was the last thing I needed. So, I shook my head, ready to plead with mysister. But she held up a finger and sharpened her stern glare.
“I'mnot negotiating, Vin. Get the hell out of here. Zach's comin' by later for asonogram appointment, so you can come back to see him. But I don't want youhere now.”
Jennawas a stubborn woman—she'd inherited the trait from our father—and there was nopoint in arguing when her mind was already made up. So, I collected my stuffand stormed out, ignoring the curious faces of a few diners.
Iwandered the streets for a while, enjoying a cool bite in the late summer air.This had been one hell of a summer, but fall was coming soon, and I couldn'twait, as I occasionally tipped my head back to breathe deep and fill my lungs.
Eventually,I grew tired of walking and knew I had to go home. And it wasn't all that bad,walking through the door into the empty kitchen. I saw Andy's hospital shoes bythe door, her sweatshirt hanging over the back of a chair, and a book she'dbrought home from work on the table. All these little traces of her seemed tomask what was really in this place, and I could live with that.
I saton the couch and watched TV, doing my best to ignore the stockpile of cocaineon the coffee table. I didn't like to get high without Andy, but I was alsoexhausted, unable to stay awake without its influence keeping me energized.Before long I'd fallen asleep, only to be woken up by someone knocking at thedoor.
“Yo,Vin! You in there?”
