Hewas wound so tight, so full of stress, and I wanted him to feel good.And,I thought, as I resumed my task,I need his father to go away.
Asper usual, Vincent was there to greet me the moment I got home. I couldn'tstand the look on his face, or that he was still here and hadn't moved on. Overtime, my desperation to make him go away had strengthened, as did my dependenceon the drugs.
Ihated how good it felt.
Ihated that I felt I needed it.
Really,I just hatedit.
ButVinnie was with me. And as long as he and I were together, everything feltokay, on the surface at least.
“Here,”I said, cutting him a line and making it neat. “Do this.”
“Andy,”he groaned. “I'm fuckin' tired, okay? I'm tired and I'm stressed. So, just ...not tonight.”
Myjaw dropped at the chill in his voice. He sounded like he couldn't stand me andlike he was disgusted by my presence.
“Fine,”I said, leaning over and doing it myself. Sitting up I rubbed at my snifflingnose and looked back at Vinnie, to find that he wouldn't look at me. “What isyour problem?”
Heslouched forward and rested his forearms over his knees. “My problem is that Ihave this shit with Goose to worry about now, on top of everything else. Andall I want is to catch a fuckin' break.”
Myheart pounded with sympathy toward my husband and I crawled to him on my handsand knees. I let my fingers wander from his knees to his inner thighs as Isaid, “Let me make it better.”
“Christ,Andy,” he groaned, head falling back as my fingertips ran the length of hishardening erection, moving upward to skirt the waistband of his gym shorts.“I'm not in—”
“Notin the mood?” I teased, pulling the shorts down to expose him to my eagermouth. “What's this, then?”
Itook him in to the back of my throat in one smooth, languorous swallow. Vinniegroaned again, this time out of pleasure, and I responded with a moan. Hisfingers threaded through my hair, gripping and pulling, as I worked him with mytongue and lips. I sucked and hummed my personal approval as he came closer andcloser to climax, his groans escalating as his hold on the back of my headtightened.
Andthen ...
“No.”
Hegently pushed me away, to stand from the couch and pull up his shorts. He shookhis head in adamant protest as I sat there on the floor, stunned and utterlyrejected.
“W-What'swrong?” I asked, now acutely aware of the persistent buzzing in my nerves.
“Ican't right now. I just ... I can't. I have too much shit on my mind. I have to...” He sighed loudly, pushing his hair back with both hands and cursing underhis breath. “I have to just clear my head, okay, sweetheart? I just ... I justwanna go to bed.”
Everythinghad happened so quickly and the ease in which he went from hot to freezing wasstartling. I stood on shaky legs as a flood of tears sprung to my eyes. Henoticed and the cold demeanor was stripped away, revealing his compassionunderneath.
“Andy,”he said, coming to me as the tears began to fall.
Islumped against his chest and laid my hands against the defined structure ofhis sternum. “You're mad at me. I don't want you to be mad at me. Was it theblowjob? I can do better, I swear I'll do—”
“Stop,no,” he said, running his fingers through my hair. “It's not that. It's noteven you. I swear, I'm just too fuckin' distracted tonight.”
Inodded against him and said, “Yeah, okay, yeah. I understand, baby. Um, maybe... maybe we should go out to my parents' house? You know, go swimming and hangout, just to relax and get a, uh, a grip on things. You know? What do youthink, baby? Do you want to do that?”
Ihadn't seen my parents since the wedding. And although I knew they weren'tthrilled with my decision to marry Vinnie, they were still my parents and, upuntil just a few months ago, I'd been with them constantly. I missed them and Ihoped he'd agree to see them with me.
Hissigh was heavy with guilt. “I can't. I need to step up my game at the pizzaplace. Jenna's getting suspicious and she'd only have more fuel for the fire ifI took off. But you should go, sweetheart. Get the hell away from here for awhile. It'll do you good.”
“Beingaway from you could never be good,” I said, holding on tightly to the fabric ofhis shirt.
“Well,I guess you don't know until you really try,” he replied in jest, as my heartached at the possibility of what was to come.
***
