Vinniewas a professional at feigning cluelessness. He shrugged nonchalantly and said,“I haven't really noticed, but you know, I've been walkin' to work a lotlately, so maybe it's payin' off.” But he was also a bad liar, and immediatelyafterward, his thumbnail was clamped between his teeth.
“Ineed to get moving more,” Sebastian said, patting his flat stomach. “I'mgetting huge.”
“Yeah,Dad. Real big,” Greyson grumbled from behind us.
“Yeah,well, you know why that happened, right?”
Greysonsighed exhaustedly. “Nope, but I'm sure you're gonna tell us all.”
“It'sbecause your little sister has decided she's never leaving my bedroom. So, insteadof getting laid every night, I'm trying to sleep with three million stuffedanimals and a little girl's feet jammed into my ass.”
Itried to fight the laugh bubbling up quickly from my stomach but couldn't. Igrabbed Vinnie's arm and doubled over in a fit of giggles.
“I'mtotally failing to see what's so funny about this,” Sebastian continued. “Imean, not only am I suffering from the world's worst case of blue balls and I'mnot getting my nightly exercise, but I’m also really fucking tired. Like, Icould totally lean right here,” he draped an arm around Vinnie's shoulders andtipped his head, “and go the fuck to sleep.”
Histone was so serious, so sincere, that I immediately stopped laughing andapologized. Sebastian responded with a boisterous laugh that left me feelingmomentarily confused.
“Beautiful,I was put onto this planet to be laughed at. It's part of my charm.” He pulledme under his arm and said to Vinnie, “How the fuck does she manage to put upwith you?”
“I'mstill figuring that one out,” he replied as he stared at me with eyes full ofhunger and question.
Itried to relax a little more in their company and ignore the lingering spirits,but God, they were abundant. There were the women who crowded around Greyson. Aman that never left the side of Devin’s wife, Kylie. Tabby, Greyson's aunt, wasfollowed by a couple of older people. And, of course, there was Vincent. Andwhile the others meandered about, like they themselves were guests at theparty, Vincent stood in the background. Staring.
Theirpresence was so loud, and the interference of the land of the living clashingwith the land of the dead was deafening to my ears. But nothing had ever beenas loud as Vincent. And I refused to listen.
It'sfunny how I never stopped to question if that was maybe the point.
Weate dinner—a spread of barbequed meats, salads, baked potatoes, and roastedcorn—and I tried engaging in as much conversation as I could, before beingdistracted by the dead. The way the man at Kylie's side smiled with fatherlypride. The way the woman at Greyson's shoulder looked fondly at Zach. Theimages of their lives that they presented to me, the love they felt, and allthe things they missed. I wished I could've known these people, and I wishedthey would go away.
“Comeon,” Vinnie said, taking my hand and pulling me from the long bench seat at thetable.
“Whereare we going?”
Heled me to the pool, stripping off his shirt and throwing it to the ground.“Your head is somewhere else. I need you to come back to me.”
“Ican't help it,” I said, fixing my gaze on his muscular physique, while notingthat Sebastian had been right. Vinnie was getting thinner. The skin stretchingacross his rib cage nearly gave them away. Just a little longer and I'd be ableto count them.
“Iknow it's hard,” he whispered, his hushed voice breaking through the static.“But you gotta try. Okay? I need you.”
Nodding,I agreed to do my best and pulled my over-sized t-shirt off, to expose mybikini to this backyard of absurdly attractive people. Jenna, who had givenbirth to two kids, had the body meant for a swimsuit edition, while Kylie andTabby, also both mothers, belonged on the runway. And they all hadpersonalities to match. They were a fiery, outgoing group of women, and I knewI paled in comparison, with my average body and antisocial, wallflowerpersonality.
Icovered my breasts with my arms, but before I could tighten my hold, Vinnietook my wrists and pried them away from my body.
“Don'tdo that,” he said.
“ButI don't look like ...” My words trailed off as my eyes flitted toward Kylie andTabby, sitting together and chatting.
Vinniefollowed my gaze, then cupped my chin in his palm and turned my eyes back tohim. “Why do you care?”
“Becausethey're pretty.”
“Yeah,and?”
“Well,I mean,” I gestured down at my body, that was also maybe showcasing a few moreribs than usual, “look at me.”
“Oh,believe me, sweetheart; I'm lookin'. I always am.”
Mylaugh was laced with every insecurity I had. “You're only saying that becauseyou're with me and not them.”
