Shelicked her lips and swallowed hard, while her eyes watched mine with a brazendare. “Okay,” she whispered, her voice trembling.
“Okay,what?”
“Okay,”she began slowly, standing higher on her toes, “prove it.”
Shewas such a contradiction of herself. Timid and bold. Brave and terrified.Everything was so black and white for me, while she walked in a grey area I’dnever delved into before. Somewhere else, somewhere … not here, and I wanted togo there, too. That place where women were simultaneously strong and needy, shyand confident. But I found I was scared of that, as I mustered my courage andbowed my neck. I was scared ofher, as if I knew that kissing her wouldopen the door to a world best left uncharted and untouched.
Andthen, when my lips touched hers with a little more passion than she had exhibited,I wondered if that fear was just a sign that I was about to embark on a journeyworth taking. If maybe that queasy, terrifying feeling in my gut was my soulsaying,yo, Vin, this chick right here? She’s better than dirty sex in dirtybathrooms, and you know what? Maybe you are, too.
CHAPTERTEN
VINNIE
“Pops,let me get that,” I demanded, hurrying from the kitchen to help my old mancarry his loaded plate to the table.
“JesusChrist, Junior,” he grumbled, jerking the plate away from my grabbing hands.“I’m capable of carryin’ my own fuckin’ dinner.”
Ieasily relented, because as much as I hated to admit it, he was right. He wasmore than capable. I guess I’d always figured that, when he was old and dying,he’d also be frail and unable to help himself. But this man didn’t look like hewas dying, even in spite of the oxygen tank trailing behind him. He looked verymuch alive, and that only made accepting his fate that much more difficult.
Iturned back to the counter and caught Moe’s sympathetic expression. And thatwas another thing—the sympathy. Ever since we announced Pops’s disease anddiagnosis to anybody who needed to know, we—the whole family—had been treatedlike the old man was already gone. But he wasn’t. He was still alive, he wasstill here, and sometimes, when I was lying in bed and the grief really got tome, I caught myself wishing he wasn’t. Just to make those sympathetic looksworth it. Just to get it over with.
“AmI meetin’ this girl of yours today or what?” Moe jabbed, steering clear of thetopics ever persistent in my stupid head.
Ilaughed, pushing through the swinging door to stand behind the counter. “Man, Itold you, she’s droppin’ by on her lunch break.”
“Hey,”he smacked the back of his hand against my shoulder, “I’m just makin’ sure sheexists.”
“Oh,she exists,” Pops chimed in, his mouth full of pasta and meatballs. “And whyshe’s interested inthisguy,” he jabbed his fork in my direction, “iscompletely beyond me.”
“Gee,thanks, Pops. I love you, too,” I grumbled, shaking my head.
“Hejust hasn’t corrupted her yet,” Moe said to him. “That’s gotta be what it is.Once he sleeps with her, that’s gonna be the end of it. Bye-bye, Andy.”
“Andthat’s the last time I confide in you, dick,” I muttered, shooting my friend amean side-eye, just as the front door chimed and Andy Bennett walked in withher friend, Elle.
“Hey,”I said, nodding my chin toward them and hoping to keep my cool in front of Moe.
“Hey,yourself,” Andy replied, her cheeks the color of ripe strawberries. Her gazeshifted to the dreadlocked man beside me and her smile went from sweet to shyin the matter of seconds. “You must be Moe.”
“Andyou must be the lady who’s got my boy all googly-eyed,” Moe said, outstretchinga big hand over the counter. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Iwatched as Andy slid her little palm against his, and I watched as shefaltered, just a little, before they shook. Her throat had bobbed and herbreath had tripped.
“You,too,” she said, her voice quiet as she looked up at him, her eyes wider thanbefore. Then, she shook her head, broadened her smile, and added, “Sorry. I’msuch a weirdo. You just kinda remind me of someone.”
Moelaughed good naturedly. “It’s all good.”
“Whatcan I get you ladies?” I asked, tightening the strings of my apron. “We have akiller baked ziti pie that Jen made this morning.”
“Soundsgood to me,” Andy replied, slowly diverting her gaze from Moe.
Elle,a stick-thin blonde, wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “No, thanks. Thatmany carbs will keep me on my Peloton for hours tonight. Do you have saladpizza?”
Inodded, as my eyes met Andy's. “Yeah, you got it,” I said, as I thought aboutall the girls I'd been with who'd turn their noses up at a good slice ofgreasy, carb-loaded pizza. But not Andy. Andy knew how to live, and with aquick glance toward my father, I wondered if that was because she had seen somuch death.
***
Sincewe'd started seeing each other, I had been making it a point to walk Andy tothe train whenever I could. So, after her shift at the hospital, Andy came backto the pizzeria and sat with Pops while Jenna, Moe, and I hustled during thedinner rush and then cleaned up the restaurant after closing. I loved watchingher with him, the way she held such an interest in his story and life. Andalthough I knew it was her job to take care of the elderly, it was her heartthat made her so compassionate, and I loved that, too.
