Andwhen you live your life a certain way, it becomes routine. You might look atsomeone else’s life and think to yourself,wow, that must be nice.Butthen, you just carry on living without a second thought because that’s all youknow to do. There is nothing else, and it’s fine.
Butthere was nothing fine about facing Vinnie Marino.
Thiswasn’t a fleeting thing. This wasn’t a quick glance at a hot guy and ajust-as-quick glance away. And I hated to admit I had a crush on him, butdammit, wasn't that exactly what this was?
Thesloshing somersault my stomach performed at the sight of him coming out of theelevator told me the answer to that question.
Heentered the ward, pushed along by a cool and casual air that I was bothattracted to and envious of. I knew he wouldn't notice me at the desk. I knew,that to guys like him, I blended in with the plain and sterile environment, butLord, what I wouldn't give for him to glance my way and acknowledge me. Justfor the thrill and excitement of being noticed by a guy any girl would brag toher friends about.
“Hey.”
Therapid process of my thoughts came to a screeching halt, realizing he hadstopped at the counter and was now staring me down with warm eyes and areluctant half-smile.
Ishook my head and quickly gathered my bearings, before replying, “Hi, Vinnie.What can I do for you?”
“Ijust wanted to apologize for being such a dick earlier. I jumped to conclusionsand—”
“Everybodyreacts differently to traumatic news like this. There's absolutely nothing toapologize for.”
Hewas quiet for a moment, as he stared at his fingers, erratically tappingagainst the counter. He was nervous and I was sure he had questions he didn'tknow how to ask. Nobody ever does.
Ashe struggled with words, I quickly shot a sideways glance and saw the olderwoman from his father's room. I had seen her periodically throughout my shiftbut there was a reluctance in her presence. She was cautious, moving into theroom and hallway with uncertainty. I thought for a moment that she was new tothis, being here but not. But, I was quick to realize that, no, that wasn't it.There was a distance between her and this family, yet she was still tetheredtightly to them.
Shelooked at Vinnie, while clutching a hand tightly to her chest. The fingers ofher other hand reached out and brushed against his shoulder. I wondered if hefelt it. People usually do, but they brush it off, excusing it for somethingelse. Wind. A sudden chill. He turned his head over his shoulder, and I smiled,wondering what he thought it had been.
“Haveyou lost anyone?”
Thequestion blurted from my lips and I immediately wished I could take it back. Iwasn't typically that kind of medium and didn't sensationalize my ability. Ialso never went out of my way to reconnect people with the spirits of theirloved ones, unless the spirits were particularly adamant. But the need toconnect withhimwas too great and conversation wasn't my strong point.
Helooked back to me, eyes narrowed and curious. “What do you mean?”
“Haveyou, um ...” Jesus, what was I doing? “Um, I'm just wondering if you haveexperience with losing someone.”
Hestill stared with unconvinced curiosity as he said, “My grandparents died whenI was younger.”
Thewoman wasn't a grandmother, or at least not his. She shook her head, her eyesmournful and clouded with regret.
Inodded, deciding to dig just a bit more. “Were any of them more, um,unexpected?”
“Areyou asking if I've ever had it sprung on me before that I have a few months tosay goodbye to someone?” He asked the question in a way that made me wince, butstill, I nodded. He shook his head. “No. This would be the first. Mygrandparents were all old as hell. I mean, it sucked, but it wasn't like Ihadn't seen it comin’.”
Thatdidn't tell me who this woman was and now, I needed to know. “Um,bothyour mom and dad's parents?” I asked, grasping at straws.
“Yeah,”he drawled slowly, eyeing me with suspicion.
Inodded. “So, will I be seeing your mom? I haven't seen her come by.”
Vinnie'sexpression hardened to stone and I knew I had hit on something. “No. My mom isdead.”
Theold woman's lips fell open in a silent forlorn sigh I couldn't hear and my eyesmet hers with one thought.
Hello,Mrs. Marino.
“I'msorry to hear that,” I said.
Heshrugged without a single display of emotion. “Eh, it’s fine. I didn’t reallyknow her.”
BeforeI could say anything else, he pushed from the counter and said, “Anyway, I justwanted to say I was sorry. I shouldn’t have taken shit out on you.”
