Jennagasped and took a hold of my arm, and I asked, “So, why can’t you just cleanthem out? I mean, they already put in those … what were they? Stents?” Thedoctor nodded slowly, already exhausted with my attempt at playing doctor.“Right, okay. So, just do that again.”
“That’snot how it works, Vin,” Jenna whispered from beside me, her voice quivering,and I looked at the doctor for confirmation.
Dr.Singh sighed. “I’m afraid she’s right. If caught earlier, the progression ofCAD can be slowed with treatment, but as it stands, years of damage havealready been done. We can try to do what we can, but …”
Then,Zach asked the question the rest of us were afraid to ask. “So, what are yousayin’ here? He’s gonna die?”
Shereleased a deep breath, and in her eyes, I saw how much she dreaded what camenext. I thought about how hard her job must be, to deliver this type of news tofamily members. Tochildren. Because, at the end of the day, that’s whatwe were. Adults, sure, but we were still his children and he was still ourfather, and no amount of adulthood can prepare a child for that look.
Myheart had already started to break before she even spoke.
“I’mafraid so,” she said quietly, barely nodding.
Jenna’ssob crashed through me and her hand released my arm to cover her mouth. “I‘msorry,” she said needlessly, her voice muffled behind her palm. “I just … Ineed to …” Before she could finish, she was hurrying down the hall to thewaiting room, and it was just my brother and me, alone with the angel of death.
Zachcleared his throat. “So, um …” He cleared his throat again and sniffled. Icouldn’t look at him, knowing he was crying. If I saw my big brother cry, Iwould fucking lose it. “How long do you think?”
“It’shard to say,” Dr. Singh admitted, looking between Zach and me and maintainingeye contact. “I hesitate to guess—”
“Humorus,” Zach interjected. “Please.”
Thedoctor sighed and let her shoulders lift in a limp shrug. “If Ihadtoguess, I’d say about six months.”
Thebreath was forced from my lungs with an invisible punch to my aching gut. Ireached out a hand to grapple for my brother’s shoulder, as he clapped a handover his mouth, just like Jenna had moments before. I worried he’d leave me,too, with the need to cry or scream or search for air that no longer seemed toexist. But he stayed by my side and muttered, “Jesus fuckin’ Christ.”
“Pleaseremember, that’s just a guess,” Dr. Singh pressed, but from the look in hereyes, I could see it was more thanjust a guess. It was her professionalhypothesis, and maybe it was her way of just being kind, by giving the old mana little more time.
Sheexcused herself to speak to Pops behind the closed door of his room, leavingZach and me in a monotonous hallway of doors, handrails, and bustling nurseswith carted computers. We didn’t say anything for several seconds that feltmore like hours, as we fought to wrap our minds around the sudden news and thesudden reality that soon, sooner than we had ever thought, we’d be facing theworld alone.
Then,Zach wiped his hand away from his mouth, letting it drop at his side. “She saidyears of damage,” he said, his voice hoarse and strained.
“Yeah,”I said, nodding.
“Howthe fuck is that even possible? He sees a cardiologist pretty regularly. Imean, he’s not the greatest at keepin’ up with his health, but he at least doesthat. How the hell can there beyearsof damage?”
Narrowingmy eyes, I took in what he was saying, realizing that it didn’t add up, andwhen the doctor emerged from the room moments later, I stopped her from walkingaway.
“Wait,we have a question.”
“Ofcourse.” She nodded, keeping her back perfectly straight, when I knew shewanted to slump away and hide. Nobody wants to give news like that to anybody,not even someone who does it regularly.
“Hehad a heart attack several years ago. How can he haveyearsof damagewithout his cardiologist noticing it?”
Dr.Singh pulled her lips between her teeth for a fraction of a second, showcasinga hesitation that did not sit well at all, before saying, “I think you all needto speak with your father.” And then, she walked away.
CHAPTERFIVE
VINNIE
“Whatdo you mean, youknewabout it?!” Zach shouted in the middle of thehospital room.
Popswouldn’t look at him. Hell, he wouldn’t look at any of us. He just shrugged andsaid, “I told you. I’ve known about it for a while.”
“Andat what point were you gonna tellus?!” In reply, Pops simply shruggedagain without saying another word and I watched as my brother came dangerouslyclose to detonation. “You gotta be fuckin’ kidding me! You seriously weren’tplanning on saying a goddamn thing to us?! Go ahead and tell me you weren’tgonna say anything to us, and I swear to God, I will fuckin’—”
“Zach,”Jenna croaked, clutching a wad of tissues in her hand. “Please.”
Hestopped his pacing to glare in her direction. “Are youseriouslyokaywith this, Jen? Because I’m sure as fuck not.” Then, he glanced at me andasked, “What about you, Vin? Huh? You’ve been awfully fuckin’ quiet.”
