“Jesus,Chad.” I scratched the back of my neck, wished this damn bench wasn’t souncomfortable, and hoped Devin would rescue us soon. I didn’t want to be havingthis conversation, but we were there, and I needed to answer. So, I said,“Assuming we’retalkin’ about you and yourgirlfriend, from what I know about your relationship, I think you’ve beentogether for a very long time, and maybe you both need to reassess where you’reat.”
Iturned in time to watch his jaw shift as he said, “You don’t think I shouldbreak up with her?”
Mymouth dried in an instant. Could he hear my thoughts? “Why would I say that?”
Wasthere something he wasn’t telling me? Were there feelings he wasn’t revealingunderneath that hard-as-stone exterior? God, I hoped not.
God, I hope so.
“Idunno.” He shrugged, and let it rest as Devin finallypulled up in his four-door pickup.
***
Therewere too many people crammed into Devin’s house in River Canyon, Connecticut.Chad jumped into the mix easily—of course, he did; this was his extendedfamily. But there were so many kids—Devin’s two little girls, Jon’s threedaughters, and Sebastian’s teenaged son—and so many loud, rambunctious men. Ifelt in over my head and foolishly shy. I didn’t know these people, who alsodidn’t know me. And while they were all friendly enough, my old habits wereback with a vengeance and I couldn’t help hiding away in the living room. I saton the couch with my salad in hand, wondering what I was thinking leavingbehind my quiet town and life.
Afterdinner, Devin and Sebastian showed us to the basement where we were staying forthe night. In the smaller group, I felt more at ease and more at home, asSebastian slapped a hand against Chad’s shoulder and pointed toward one of therooms.
“Yo,” he said, pulling Chad in close. “Rumor has it, that’swhere Jon boned Tess for the first—”
“Dude.” Devin shook his head, then lookedto me. “I really hope you brought some duct tape with you for his mouth.Otherwise, my apologies.”
“Igot it covered,” Chad replied, pounding his palm with a fist and grinningmenacingly at Sebastian.
“Fuckoff,” Sebastian laughed heartily. “I would kick your scrawny ass so bad,Chaddington.”
“Idunno,” I mentioned slyly with a shrug. “Chadhasknocked a few people out in histime.”
Devinand Sebastian both appeared shocked and impressed. “Oh, really? Tell me more,” Sebastianencouraged, hugging his arm around Chad’s shoulders even tighter.
Chadjust rolled his eyes. “Jesus Christ …”
Itwas an immediate walk down memory lane, as I said, “When we were in juniorhigh, I was bullied quite a bit, and Chad didn’t take too kindly to that.”
“Hedidn’t, huh?” Sebastian asked. Something shifted in his gaze, as his mouthquirked into a smile, and Chad’s cheeks pinked a bit underneath the overheadlights.
“Nope.”I grinned, meeting Chad’s eye. He shook his head, but despite hisembarrassment, he didn’t hide his smile. “A few boys went home with black eyes,and this guy,” I reached out to tug at the hem of his shirt, “went home withbruised knuckles.”
“Worthit,” he grunted.
“Hm.”Sebastian nodded and said, “Maybe youcouldkick my ass after all,Chaddington Bear.”
Seband Devin then left us to getready for bed. Without their presence to chaperone, I felt like we were so farand secluded from everybody and everything. And it wasn’t as though we wereforeign to being alone.Of coursethat wasn’t thecase, but here, so far from home and so close to embarking on a new adventuretogether, this seclusion felt different. Tense. I was suddenly aware of hisheight. The way his t-shirt stretched over his chest. The definition of veins stretchingover his tattooed hands and along his forearms. The solid cut of his jaw,hidden beneath a bristly layer of stubble not much shorter than his hair.
Itwasn’t that I’d spent my life unaware of how attractive he was. I wasn’toblivious. But I’d never taken the time to allow my eyes to linger, and nowthat they were, I wasn’t sure I could look away. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
What is happening?
“So,which room doyawannatake?” he asked, cutting the silence. “Thatroom’sgotthe smaller bed,” he jabbed his thumb over his shoulder, “but that other roomis apparently tainted with … Jon or whatever. So, it’s up to you. I’ll takewhichever one you don’t want.”
Isnorted. “I don’t mind. I mean, I’massumin’ thesheets are clean, and it’s not like I haven’t slept in a, uh,usedbedbefore. Ididtell you about that oneroommate who used my bed to appease her boyfriend’s shoe fetish, right?”
Hisface twisted with nauseated disgust. “Stop. I’mgonnagag.”
“Inever did ask why they had to replace one pair of my shoes.”
“Oh,God,” he groaned. “You’re sure Morgan’s, uh,safe?”
“Well,Ihopeso.” I crossed my arms andchuckled lightly. “I mean, she’sbein’ leftunsupervised for months. With Benny.”
