“Yourstomach issues … have they gotten any better?”
Iactually laughed. Darkly, but I laughed, nonetheless.“No,” I replied curtly. “Not even a little bit.” I was surprised I could speakso plainly with her, when I was so adamant on masking my pain with nearlyeveryone else. But Molly was candid with me. She always had been, and despitethe absence of our friendship over so many years, that comfort had never left.
“Doyou know what’s wrong?”
Pursingmy lips, I shook my head. “Nah.I mean, I’m prettysure I have irritable bowel syndrome—that’s what I tell people, anyway. But Idon’t know for sure.”
Shecocked her head and with a look that suggested I was nuts, she asked, “Whydon’t you find out? Wouldn’t you rather know?”
Itwas a weird feeling, to be so aware of the walls stacking up around me, as Iswallowed and shrugged. This was the part I couldn’t delve into, an admissionof being afraid to really know. What if it was bad news? What if it was worsethan any Google search result I’d come across?
Maybeshe expected I wouldn’t answer that question, but she asked anyway, just incase I’d surprise her. Maybe one day I would. But it wasn’t today. Molly sensedI was shutting down, but she didn’t seem to mind, as she easily changed thesubject to safer things. Like her favorite vegan recipes and a restaurant closeto her apartment that I justhadtotry.
Then,her roommate, Morgan, came home. A dead ringer for Zooey Deschanel, with a guyon her arm who was probably the class nerd in high school, then comfortablygrew into the role as he got older. He introduced himself to me as Benny,shaking my hand, while Morgan eyed me curiously and tugged Molly aside and intothe living room just a few feet away.
“Uh… who isthat?” I heard her whispertoo loudly.
Bennysmiled awkwardly at me. “So, what do you do?”
Divertingmy attention, I answered, “I play the guitar.”
“Oh.Uh …” Benny scratched uncomfortably behind his ear and readjusted histhick-framed glasses. “I meant for work.”
Ilifted the side of my mouth in a reassuring smile. “So did I.”
Hecocked his head, officially perplexed. “Really? Are you a teacher? Because I’ma science teacher at the high school. Maybe we—”
“Nah.I’m in a band,” I interjected gently. Somehow, I wasn’t at all surprised tofind out he was a science teacher. I could just picture him with his microscopeand lab coat.
Bennycrossed his arms and nodded with intrigue. “Get out of here. Really? That’sincredible. Local band, or—”
“Shut!Up!” I turned my attention back to Morgan and Molly in the living room to findMorgan’s palms outstretched as she emphasized each word with hard consonants.She turned to face me and pointed a finger in my direction. “Do you know whoyou are?”
Ichoked on a low chuckle. “God, I hope so.”
“Youplay with Devin O’Leary!”
Benny’seyes grew to the size of baseballs as I nodded with honesty. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Oh,my God,” Benny mumbled, laying a hand over his face. “And I thought you workedin the high school …”
“Benny!Does helooklike he works in a highschool? I mean, come on! Jesus …” Morgan turned to Molly, disbelief andembarrassment igniting the redness in her cheeks. “This one mightnotbearound for long after all,” she muttered, and Molly’s sigh was wrapped around alaugh I wished I didn’t feel in my heart.
ButI did.
7
Dancewith the Cutest Girl in School
MOLLY
AFTER ALONG WEEKofplaying an unusual five nights at the Locust Lounge, all my body wanted, was tocrash and remain in a coma for two days straight. One of the other acts hadflaked last minute and I’d accepted the offer to take the two extra nights. Itwasn’t long ago when I could handle that type of workload and still have theenergy to enjoy the weekend with Mama or friends. But apparently those dayswere gone. Thirty was approaching, and I felt it deeply when I finally landedin my bed on Friday night.
Except, when Saturday morningrolled around, Chad apparently had other plans for my day of hibernation. Histext came in at a quarter to nine. I whined myself awake and glared at thephone with cruel intent before finding the strength to grab for it.
Peering through bleary eyes, Iread:
Chad: Hey. Open yourdoor.
