“Ugh,yes and no,” she muttered. “It’s so weird. Like, on one hand, I love my houseand having so much space. And for the first time inmonths, there’s nothing going on. I feel like I canbreathefor a little while, youknow?But on the other, there’s this adjustment period,where it feels liketoo muchspace.”
Inodded toward the laptop. “Oh, yeah. I’m feeling that. Like, there is way toomuch room between my couch and TV right now.”
“Andthe bathroom is sofreakin’big.”
Mychest erupted with giggles. “Oh, my God, yes! I can’t handle it! I don’tunderstand why I can’t jump from the toilet straight into the shower.”
“Exactly!”Her laugh lingered for a moment, until it dissipated into a sigh. “And, ofcourse, there’s the whole missing everybody thing.”
Inodded solemnly. “Yeah, I know. But, hey, you guys have Jon right around thecorner and Sebastian’s not too far, right?”
“Well,yeah, but Ty’s in Ohio, and Chad’s … Well, obviously you know where Chad is.”She laughed again, a little sadder this time. “How’s your boyfriend doing, bythe way?”
“He’sokay,” I replied, missing him more than I should’ve. “Settling in.”
“That’sgood.” There was a smile in her tone before she sighed and continued, “So, asmuch as I’m loving this chat, I did actually call you for a reason.”
“Ooh,I see.Sothis is abusinesscall,” I teased, leaning back in my chair as a fit ofsudden nerves weaved through my gut. As the band’s manager, I’d been expectingKylie to call eventually, but I wasn’t sure it’d happen so soon.
“Well,yeah,” Kylie said. “I know we just got home, and I don’t expect an answer rightaway. But if you want to continue in the industry, now would be areallygood time to record that album and think about a solo tour.”
Iswallowed at the yogurt threatening to rise in my throat. “Can I think aboutit?”
“Oh,yeah,” she hurried. “Absolutely. You have a little bit of time, but I’m tellingyou from experience, you don’t want to sleep on this for too long. So, thinkabout it for a couple of days, talk to Chad, but I’mgonnabe waiting, lady. I’d hate to see you waste time on getting what you want, whenthis is right here, within your grasp.”
Shecouldn’t have known about my conversations with Chad from months ago. She hadno idea. But after the words were said, my lips parted in a whispered gasp andmy fingers pinched at the collar of my shirt.
Righthere.
Withinyour grasp.
Inodded as my lips pulled into a smile, and I replied, “Thanks, Kylie. You’ll behearin’ from me soon.”
***
Chadwasn’t answering his phone, and with the assumption that he wasn’t feelingwell, I went to his parents’ house to check on him. Nobody answered the door,and his mother’s sedan was missing from the driveway. I guessed his folks hadgone out and Chad had fallen asleep. With a defeated sigh, I decided to wait afew more minutes before calling himagain, andheadedinto the backyard to bide my time.
Walkingpast the old pool and rusted swing set, I remembered countless summers in myyouth when I’d spent my time over here. I didn’t have those kinds of funluxuries in my own yard, so it sure was handy to have a best friend with themall at his disposal. I’d wished forthishouse to be mine, instead of living with my grandparents in their musty oldplace down the street. But still, I never begrudged Chad for calling thishishome. Because it was his house, andthat meant he was always here.
Now,I wondered if he would leave. I knew he loved this house; I knew he wanted itas his own. But I also knew he often craved privacy and he wasn’t getting ithere. Would he find another place to live? Would he ask me to live with him, orwould he want his own space for a while? The thought wound a sadness through mygut that left me unsettled and needing a seat, afraid my heart could break atthe possibility of him being gone … again. So, I walked further into the yard,past the outdoor living space with its worn wicker couches and chairs, past thestone fire pit, and beyond the greenery and trees. I came to the small clearingset back from the house, and there, I found Chad. On his back, arms foldedbehind his head, and face turned to the sky. In the dusky glow, he almostlooked the way he did when we were younger, but just a bit longer. I approachedand my feet rustled the grass underfoot. Startled, Chad twisted his neck tolook back, and although it was getting darker, I could still make out hissmile.
“Hey,darlin’.”
“Hey,”I repeated, walking closer. “Whatchadoin’?”
“What’sitlooklike I’mdoin’?”
Isat beside him and he unfolded one arm, stretching it out to welcome me intohis embrace. I accepted as I answered, “Looks like you’relayin’in the dirt.”
Hechuckled as I settled into his chest and he wrapped his arm around myshoulders. “That’s about right. But I’m alsothinkin’,and I’ve always done my bestthinkin’ out here.”
Ihummed and nodded as I turned to face the early stars. “What’re youthinkin’ about?”
Witha pull of air that puffed his chest and a sigh that left him nearly empty, hereplied, “I’mthinkin’ about all those wishes we usedto make out here, and I’mthinkin’ about that listyou made. Remember you said thatwritin’ ‘emdown made them more likely to come true.”
“Oh,my God.” My focus left the sky as I turned to face his upturned gaze. “I can’tbelieve you remember that stupid thing.”
Hegrunted a chuckle. “I remember a lot from back then, Molls, and it wasn’tstupid. You inspired me to write mine down, too,” and with that, he reachedinto his pocket to pull out a folded piece ofpaper, andpassed it to me.
