Or maybe I was justafraid that I wouldn’t think of Beth at all.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JON
“Howdy, son.”Dadtipped his hat the moment I pulled the apartment door open for my parents andthe three dancing monkeys at their feet.
“Daddy!” Shellysquealed, rushing forward and wrapping her arms around my legs.
“Hey ladies!” Iexclaimed, my heart full and feeling grateful to have them back home. Annabelstretched her arms up and out to me, and I bent to pick her up as I asked myparents, “You guyswannastay for breakfast?”
Mom grimaced with aglimmer of apology set in her eyes. “We already ate.”
“Oh, thanks a lot,” Igrumbled, leading them into the apartment.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart.We just thought we’d let you sleep a little later,” Mom replied. “But we didbring you a fried egg sandwich.”
“With bacon andcheese?” I asked, raising a questioning brow in her direction.
“Is there any otherway?” Dad chuckled and passed a paper bag over to my waiting hand.
Shelly and Lilly ran totheir room, giddy to be back with their toys, while Annabel pressed her head tomy shoulder. I sat at the kitchen table, holding one arm around her while Iunwrapped the sandwich. The mouthwatering scent of good, fried food waftedthrough the apartment and I couldn’t help but groan.
Mom and Dad sat downwith me as I began to eat, satisfied smiles stretching their lips.
“You’re outgrowing thisplace, kiddo,” Dad commented, turning his head to get a good look at thekitchen.
Inodded,my mouth full. “No kidding.”
Mom propped her chin ontoher clasped hands. “Maybe if you moved to a—”
Taken aback, I narrowedmy eyes and swallowed. “I’m not looking to move anytime soon, Mom. I can barelyaffordthisplace, let alonesomewhere bigger. Yougottabe kidding.”
“Well, Dad mentionedyou’ve been applying to some better paying jobs,” she mentioned cautiously,glancing toward my father.
“Yeah,” I nodded,taking another bite, “but the point is to be able to livecomfortably. You know, not be late on the rent and afford more food.Just having a bigger place would be more expensive, and then I’d be in the sameposition I’m in now. Or worse.”
Mom hummed thoughtfullyas her head gently bobbed. “That’s true. But you could always look out ofstate, find somewhere more affordable. It’s expensive here, and—”
“No.” I shook my head.“Definitely not.”
Dad knocked gentlyagainst the table, an anxious little thing he did when approaching somethingtough. “Your mother has a point, kiddo. It could be good for you and the girlsto get a fresh start.”
I had to close my eyesand count backward from ten as the sandwich went sour in my mouth. They meantwell, I told myself. This was coming from a place of care, of love, and I knewwhat they were saying was valid. But to leave this apartment, let alone theentire state, would also be to leaveher.Her memory. Her grave.
It was bad enough I hadunwillingly introduced a desire to envision another woman while I laid awake atnight. I couldn’t fathom the thought of literally leaving Beth behind.
I kept myself fromappearing upset as I hugged my arm tighter aroundAnnabel,andpushed a smile. “One step at a time, guys.”
***
Monday brought the relief of finding outthat nothing felt off with Tess. She buzzed into the apartment wielding snacksand chocolate milk for the girls, and when I lifted my brows to silently tellher she shouldn’t spoil them, she simply shrugged and smiled with thoseupturned lips. Those fleeting moments of something more, or something withpotential, had been left outside of that diner underneath the fireworks, andGod, was I grateful.
Except now I knew whather eyes looked like when illuminated by the stars and multicolored lights, andthat was a vision I couldn’t quite get out of my head. That made it difficultto share our new tradition of having a cup of tea afterwork,andmade it hard to speak casually.
But Tuesday had made iteven easier, putting more distance between Saturday and me, and our eveningteatime felt back to normal.
“So, you have aninterview this weekend?” she asked, lifting her mug to her lips. I noddedvictoriously, pumping my fist in the air for good measure. “Where at?”
