I lifted the side of mymouth in a crooked grin. “I’d neverquit,Dad.”
He pointed the spatulaat me. “Ah, you say thatnow, beforeyou’re too busy with everything else.”
“True,” I agreedsolemnly. “I don’t know. I mean, I applied to work at a few music stores, andthere was this piano teacher position I thought sounded good. So maybe I’llstill do something with it. I just can’t keep doing what I’m doing now. I’m goingnowhere and I need some progress.”
His eyes met mine.“Well, if that’s what you feel you need, then I support that. But let me justsay, the fact that you feel you need progress, isprogress initself.”
***
Billy Joel was my partner in crime tonight.I pulled one cover after another from my bank of upbeat tunes. I channeled thepower of the Piano Man himself and slammed my fingers onto the keys with abravado I didn’t see coming. I had the crowd on their feet, glasses of liquorsloshing within their clenched hands as they rocked to “We Didn’t Start theFire” and “You May Be Right.” They slowly swayed to the likes of “Scenes froman Italian Restaurant” and “This IsTheTime,” andthey stood as still as statues during “Miami 2017 (I’ve Seen The Lights Go Outon Broadway).”
The applause was like ashot of adrenaline, and in the middle of “Movin’Out,” I shoved the seat back from under me and stood up at the piano likeIwas the rock star. I bounced on mytoes, feeding on the choired voices of the audience, and built myself up to amoment I hadn’t planned on.
“So,” I spokebreathlessly into the mic, brushing the hair off my face, “I recently wrotethis song, and I’vegottabe honest, it’sgonnabe a bit of a mood killer. But it’s been a whilesince I’ve written anything, and I’m not sure when I’m evergonnaget a crowd like this to test it out on. So, if you’ll forgive me for a fewminutes, this is ‘Always.’”
I grabbed the bench,pulling it back to the piano, and sat down, flexing my fingers before layingthem on the keys. My lungs quivered and quaked with my inhale, and on my exhale…
I began to play.
My fingers easilywalked over the keys, a gentle dance of melancholy notes that dulled thecacophony of chairs scraping against the floor as the audience took theirseats. I closed my eyes and drifted off, before putting my mouth to themicrophone.
Andlike a knight who has,
Fallenonto his sword,
Struckdown,
Lyingon this cold floor,
Iwill say your,
Nameuntil I can believe …
Thatyou are out there,
Listeningto me,
WhileI struggle,
Downon my knees,
AndI’m praying,
Thatyou are waiting,
Waitingfor me …
Butuntil then, my darling,
Iwill missyou,I will love you,
Always.
My fingers weremotionless against the keys. Not a sound was made in the heavy stillness of theclub, and for a few moments, all there was, was the gentle sound of my lungs,barely breathing. A silent tear escaped between my lashes and I let it fall,for her, landing onto a key—B for Beth—withthe softest splash nobody else could hear.
I stared out over theglossy piano cover, an illustrious ebony under the warm stage lights. Iimagined their glow was a spotlight from Heaven, giving me a reassuring nodfrom an angel I knew, and I felt it.
Peace.
