I opened the door andthere, in my living room, found the last thing I expected to see.
Tess sat on mycouch,her bare feet kicked up on the coffee table. Lillysat on one side, Annabel and Shelly on the other, and they huddled against her,eyes glued to the glowing TV screen.
My heart took a moment,as I stood there in the open doorway. I tried to remember if they had everacted this way with my mother, or even—Godhelp me—their own. Had they ever snuggled up to watch TV, skootching closerand closer, like it was impossible to ever be close enough?
“Hey—”
“Shh,” Lilly, Shelly, and Tess hissed in unison, as Annabel turnedto me, her little finger pressed to her lips.
“Oh. Sorry.” I walkedslowly into the apartment, forgetting all about bedtimes and chapters, and onlywondered what the hell had them so engrossed. I closed the door behind me andlocked it beforetaking a peekat the television, myjaw dropping at the telltale clawed hand. “Uh, excuse me—”
“Daddy,shush!” Lilly exclaimed.
I was about toreprimand her when the blades on the TV came down in a swoop, slashing throughflesh and splattering blood, and all semblance of guilt dissipated to make wayfor a flash of anger.
I turned to the couch,eyes narrowed and shoulders rigid. Tess met my livid gaze, and she worried herlower lip.
“Jon … I’m—”
I ignored her and cuther off. “All three of you. Bed. Now.”
“No!” Shelly shouted.
“Excuse me?” I put onehand to my hip, as the other pointed toward their open door. “If you’re not inbed by the time I count to ten, you’re all losing TV for the rest of the week.One …”
Lilly shot me with aglare that would’ve made me feel like a villain, had I not been so mad. “Comeon, Daddy!”
I challenged her withmy scowl. “Two …”
Before I could reachthree, the girls had begrudgingly scurried from the couch and crossed the floorto their bedroom. For good measure, Lilly slammed the door behind her. She knewI didn’t like that—the doorframe was loose and in need of repair—but it wasjust as well, as I turned to direct my anger at the source.
“Jon …” She repeated myname a second time, pulling her feet from the coffee table. “They asked towatch a movie and I thought it’d be okay, even though it’s late, so—”
“So, you thought it’dbe a good idea to let them watchNightmareon Elm Street?” I fired at her, clenching a fist at my side. “You let atwo-and-a-half-year-old watch anR-rated horror movie?”
“I honestly didn’tthink it’d be a big deal,” Tess weakly defended herself, rising to her feet.Without her shoes, she was another inch or two shorter than me, and I felt likea giant. Mean and scary.And so guilty.“Lillyfound it and said you wouldn’t mind. Of course, I didn’t really believe her,but it was on cable, so I figured the bad stuff would’ve been cut out.”
My hand thrust towardthe screen. “Well,obviously, youfigured wrong!”
Shame and regret curvedher lips into a frown that looked so unbelievably out of place. As though shewas always meant to be smiling and I was now the monster to push her over theedge.
“I’m so sorry,” shewhispered, shaking her head erratically, as she bent to grab her boots frombeside the couch. “I should’ve known better. I should’ve said no. We were just…” She stopped herself from speaking, and I watched the column of her throatmove with a swallow as she stepped around the curbside coffee table. “We werejust having a really good night, and I didn’t want to be the bad guy. I’msorry.”
The bad guy. I turned away to divert my gaze to something, anything other thanher and that unnatural frown. “They better not have nightmares tonight,” Ithreatened, not knowing what the consequences would even be if they did.“That’s the last thing I need.”
“I’m sorry.” She said a third time and moved around me to sit on thechair. She put her boots on in silence, and as she stood, I heard her grab herdenim jacket. “Can I just, um … Can I just say goodbye to them before I leave?”
Goodbye. Goodbye is so final. She knows she’sbeing fired.
I didn’t look at her as I nodded, and she replied, “Thanks.”
While Tess quietly knocked on their bedroom door, I walked into thekitchen. I dropped my backpack heavily onto the table and turned to therefrigerator to find something to eat before bed. I listened as she entered andannounced that she was leaving. I tried to busy myself, as I opened the fridgedoor, but I just stood there, unseeing, as I listened. Eavesdropping.
“I want you tostay,” Shellyspoke first, her voice waterlogged like she’d been crying.
Dammit.I lifted a hand to cover my eyes. Why did I have to yell at them? It wasn’ttheir fault. None of them had been the supervising adult.
“Me too,” Lilly chimed in. She hadn’t been crying; she was simply mad.“Daddy’s so unfair.”
