She shrugged. “I-Iguess he forgives her.”
“Good. Give them ahappy ending. They deserve it,” I said, nodding with approval.
“What about us?” Mymouth pinched as I shook my head, slow and steady. Her protests barreled pasther lips in a rushed jumble of syllables, but I kept my silent response firm.“Butwhy?” she finally asked,defeated and exasperated.
“You can still watchthe girls,” I offered. “They need you, and I hope you won’t take that away fromthem, because I never would. But you and me …” My head shook again. “That’swhat separates real life from fiction, Tess. Some of us aren’t meant to have a happilyever after.”
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
JON
AFew Months Later
“Daddy! Grandma says—”
“I don’t care whatGrandma says, Lilly. You’re not old enough to get your ears pierced.”
“I’m seven!”
“As of yesterday.”
“Like I said,” myeldest groaned, rolling her eyes dramatically. “I’mseven.”
“I’m getting my earspierced, too!” Shelly exclaimed, excited glee lighting her eyes. “I’m five.”
“Nobody is gettingtheir ears pierced!” I shouted exasperatedly.
My mother grimacedapologetically from across the table as Jeff’s ex-wife, now-girlfriend, Laura,chimed in, “I was four when I got my ears pierced.”
“I don’t see the bigdeal,” Jeff offered, shrugging as he cut a piece of cake for his oldest son.“Most girls have their ears pierced. Can someone explain to me what the bigdeal is?”
“There isn’t one. He’sbeing ridiculous,” Dad grumbled from the head of the table before shovelinganother forkful of cake into his mouth. “Ihad my ears pierced, for crying out loud.”
This is what I got foragreeing to celebrate Lilly and Shelly’s birthdays at my parents’ place. Atable full of people making me look and feel like the bad guy, after my mothersuggested taking the girls to get their ears pierced. She’d thought it would bea great idea, and that it’d make them feel special. The girls had jumped andsquealed with glee at the sheer thought of having earrings, but I saw it as agrown-up thing. A thing I didn’t understand and a prelude to boys and periods.
God help me.
I knew I’d have to givein eventually. Things were going to begin changing sooner rather thanlater—Lilly was already seven, for crying out loud. But why did it have tohappennow? Why couldn’t I hold onjust a little longer? They were still little. They still played dress-up. Theydidn’t need piercings and earrings and God knows what else came with it.
“I said no,” I saidgently, sternly, and the front door opened.
“Hey!” Tess called intothe house, and I listened as her footsteps came down the hallway and into thedining room. She was carrying a stack of gifts wrapped in princess paper. Hercheeks were rosy from the wind, her lips bitten-red from the cold, and I onlyallowed myself a moment to linger on how pretty she was before dropping mygaze. “Sorry I’m so late. I was boxing up the rest of Grandma’s basement andlost track of time.”
Tess’s parents hadallowed her to stay in her grandmother’s house, to watch the place until it wassold. I suspected she’d been grateful, to prolong her time away from herparents’ house. But I also knew how painful it was to exist among the ghostsand memories, and although I hadn’t found it in me to say it aloud, I achedwith empathy whenever she mentioned it.
“Howdy, little lady,”Dad greeted with a smile, standing from the table to tip his Stetson and kissher cheek. He took the gifts from her arms and placed them on the table. “Sitdown and have some cake.”
“Oh, you don’t have totell me twice,” she laughed, pulling her coat off. “I’ve been thinking aboutthis all day.”
“Tess hasherears pierced!” Lilly pointed outboisterously, as though that would convince me of anything.
I opened my mouth totell her it still wasn’t happening, but Tess sat beside me and asked, “Oh myGod, are you guys getting your ears pierced? That’s so exciting! I was a littlegirl when I got mine done, too. My grandma took me, and—” She caught my steelyglare. “What?”
“Jonathan doesn’t thinkit’s a good idea,” Mom explained, treading carefully.
“Well, then, he’s beingsilly,” Tess replied, accepting the plate of cake my dad handed to her. Jeff’seyes widened at her bold comment. “It’s important, I think, for kids to feellike individuals and to make their own decisions. And if theywantto get their ears pierced, then Ithink it’s a good idea.”
“Do you have anychildren?” I snapped, turning to face her.
