“O-kay,”he drawled slowly, tightening his stance. “Then, can I ask why you dragged meinto the bathroom? Or is that none of my business too?”
Idon’t entirely know why, but I felt the need to confess, “Roman asked me out.”
Sebastianlifted his eyes to the ceiling, studying the mini chandelier Alex had installednot too long ago. His jaw shifted as he chewed his bottom lip. “Well, can’t sayI didn’t see that one coming,” he replied, his voice graveled and unexpectedlyemotional.
“Youcalled it.” I tried smiling in the way that people in the movies do when inthese awkward moments, but I couldn’t find it in me. “I think I’m going to accept.Just to see how it goes.”
“Yeah,you should,” he encouraged, and yet, he still wouldn’t look at me. “When amIgoing to see you again?”
Iknew what he was really asking. If we were over, whatever we were. But I saw noreason to tell him we were done when I was simply having dinner with Roman, soI replied, “What are you guys doing this weekend?”
Droppinghis gaze to mine, he tried to smile. He wasn’t very successful. “Seeing you,apparently.”
Inodded, stepping toward him and pressing my hands to his chest. I felt myselfstealing his breath as I kissed him. Would kissing Roman be like this? Would hestruggle to regain function over his lungs? Would his heart hammer wildlybeneath my hands?
“Gethome safe,” I whispered against his lips, closing my eyes as he opened the doorand left.
IfSebastian makes me feel free, how would Roman make me feel?
28
tabby
It felt likea first date, like my firstdateever, and I guess in a way it was. It was my first date in a newlife, one without my parents, without my sister, and without Greyson. I wasalone, getting ready in my bedroom and talking to myself the way I would’vewith Sam, had she been alive.
“Thisone?” I asked, holding up a slinky black dress to my nearly-naked figure. Iwrinkled my nose, tossing it aside and held up the same dress in red. “Whatabout this?”
Iimagined what Sam would’ve said. She would have gone with the red. It was bold,it screamedlook at me, my tits, my ass. But she would’ve known ahead oftime that the night would lead to sex—her nights always did—and that wasn’twhat I was after. I didn’t do that.
Ordid I?“Sebastian’s different,” I muttered to nobody, theprofundity of the statement completely lost on me in the moment.
Nothingin my closet seemed right. Nothing worked for the type of night I wanted tohave. I wanted nice and casual, with the possibility of more. I didn’t want thenight these dresses would insinuate; these were the dresses I wore with my ex,when I knew that sex was a sure thing.
I’dwear them for Sebastian. “Oh my God, stop it.”
Isettled on a knee-length pencil skirt and a black sleeveless top. I double-checkedthat my tattoo would be hidden without the need for a blazer, made sure my brawas padded enough to conceal my piercings, and selected a pair of blackstilettos, before assessing my hourglass silhouette in the full-length mirror.
Itwould have to do.
Romanpicked me up from the house in his Ferrari, the top down as he’d promised weeksago. After seeing the multi-million-dollar mansion he lived in most days, I feltembarrassed of my little house in a town where this was considered to be on thelarger side. And although he didn’t say anything, I could feel his judgementwhen I made him wait for a moment in the living room.
“Youhave a lot of records,” he mentioned casually, his hands tucked into his pantpockets. Perusing the shelves with a skeptic’s eye.
“It’sa collection,” I replied, stating the obvious as I spritzed a bit of my WorkPerfume onto my neck and wrists.
“Iwouldn’t have expected you to be such a rock fan.”
Iwalked across the living room to find him holding the Metallica recordSebastian had held over a month ago. It felt sacrilegious somehow for Roman tobe touching the same corner as Sebastian, like two worlds colliding, and Iwondered if the universe would explode from their fingerprints merging.
“Ilisten to a variety.” I flashed him a small smile, as I pulled out a MichaelBolton album to prove my point.
Romanchuckled. “I don’t see any Sinatra here. I’m a fan of the Rat Pack.”
“Well,maybe I’ll have to add a little Sammy and Dean.”
Liftinghis brows, obviously impressed, he asked, “You’re actually familiar with them?”
“Itold you, I listen to a variety.” My smile broadened.
