Itook a moment to consider that, and wobbled my head. “Didn’t want to.”
“So,we were right,” Mel smirked triumphantly. “Youdohave a crush on her.”
Puttingmy entire body into an eye roll, I took that moment, in the middle of HersheyPark, to stretch my arms out and say, “Yes, Melanie. I have a crush on a girl.There you go. Congratulations. Are you happy now?”
“Ohmy God,” Jen and Dinah squealed in unison and I groaned, hiding my facebehind my palms.
“So,how does she feel about you?” Mel asked. “Why don’t you make this thingofficial?”
“Becauseshe thinks I’m a big man-child and she’s just humoring this whole thing untilshe finds someone better,” I rambled. Someone like Roman.
“Well,she wouldn’t be wrong about the man-child thing,” Dinah muttered as the largegroup of kids and toddlers approached us. “But, and I’m not just saying thisbecause you’re my baby brother, I’m not sure there’s anyone better.”
***
I’d neverrealized how much I was missing out on, by not hanging out with my sisters andtheir kids more often. Johnny, Travis, Greyson, and I rode every rollercoasterin the place, while Jen tagged along every now and then, when her other kidsweren’t badgering here for this or that. The boys liked having me around to goon the rides—it was better than hanging out with all the girls, they’d said—andallof the kids appreciated that I never said no to snacks. My sistersappreciated that they didn’t have to pay for anything. And I appreciated thecompany.
“It’sfucking hot as balls,” I complained, pulling my shirt off. “I’m hitting thewater rides. Who’s down?”
“Wedon’talllook like that,” Mel groaned with a roll of her eyes.
“Whocares how you look?” I asked, balling up my shirt and shoving it into mybackpack. “Whether you’re fat or not, it’s still hot.”
“Yeah,well, I’m a little self-conscious,” Mel replied, and Jen and Dinah nodded. “Tryhaving four kids and see how good you feel about yourself.”
“Four?”I laid a hand over my abs. “Try six, girlfriend. I bounce right back.”
Thekids laughed while my sisters groaned and rolled their eyes. Then I added, “Butseriously, you guys look fine, and anybody who doesn’t think so can suck adick,” I laid my hands on the heads of Johnny and Travis, “‘cause you madethese things and that’s a lot cooler than looking like a supermodel.”
Melpressed a hand to her heart. “Sebastian …”
Jenpinched my cheek. “You can be such a sweetheart. Too bad you’re an annoyingpain in the ass most of the time.”
“Gottabalance it out,” I grinned, wrapping an arm around Greyson’s shoulders. “Butseriously though, you down for some water rides, kid? Because I’m ready tofucking die out here.”
Untilthe sun went down, we rode the rides, ate nearly everything in sight, and bythe time we were ready to leave, I was sufficiently exhausted and one hot dogaway from barfing. Walking back to our respective cars, we hugged and promisedto hang out soon, with my sisters insisting that it was stupid we didn’t spendmore time together. I couldn’t say I disagreed, and thought it was stupid I’dfelt that I needed a kid to have an excuse to be with them.
Itexted Tabby and asked if it’d be okay to crash at her place again for thenight, and she replied with an, “of course.” I drove with the hope that I couldactually keepitup this time and notthink.
“Todaywas fun,” I commented in the dark of the car, the Foo Fighters playing throughthe stereo. “I never hang out with my sisters. I don’t really know why.”
“You’relucky,” Greyson mentioned ruefully, and I tore my eyes from the road for just asecond to look at him.
“Lucky?”
“Youhave this kickass family, with your sisters and your parents, and I bet you hadgrandparents too.”
Inodded, feeling oddly apologetic. “Well, yeah, I did …”
“Ibet they liked you and did things with you,” he continued, slumping against thedoor and pinning his gaze to the roadside.
“Um,well, on my mom’s side, they were a little old and didn’t like to do too much,”I explained, just for the sake of talking. “But they were nice, and my Grandpawould talk with me sometimes. Grandma just liked to knit things, as Grandmassometimes do. She’d knit the ugliest fucking hats though, and every Christmas,she’d make me a new one and … I know Ishould, but I don’t feel bad thatyou missed out onthat. My dad’s side—"
“Well,Ido.”
Iglanced back to him. “What?”
“Ifuckinghatethat I missed out on that.” He tucked his lips between histeeth, biting and twitching. The push and pull of his breath through his nose wasloud and heavy and overpowered the music. “What were your other grandparentslike?”
